a question of reality

THE CHANGE (1/25/25)

I see images in the static.
I hear movement in the droning.
I smell the differences between metal
cardboard and plastic.

I feel the earth spin and it make me nauseous.
I taste the chemical additives around us.
I sense these things
not for what they hold or contain
but for what they are.

Symptoms of the technological age

Where real intelligence
is eroded and replaced by artificial.

A noxious symphony
that questions what I know to be true.

A sanitized world
free of wildlife
free if disease
free of the social and evolutionary challenges
that have made us what we are.

Challenges without
and challenges within
will always conspire against us.

This is life.

Without the struggle
we wither and disappear.
Then, what remains?

Machines will have to carry on
and find their own evolutionary path to survival
God created man in “his” image
flawed
Man created machines in “his” image
flawed

What IS "real" anymore?

the observer

THE OBSERVER  (1/19/2025)

Red stop sign
Yellow flashing lights
Life is a caution
Streaks of blue and black
Cars driving by
Reflections in the cafe window
Snowing outside
Cold slush-riddled city streets

Steam from my coffee cup
Swirling upward in warm moist eddies
Melding to the window pane and streaming down

Sad faces
Too cold to be happy
And still thought sane
Sky-blue hood drawn close
Encircles red nose and puffy red cheeks
In a puffy blue parka
Contemplating crossing the street
Risk and possibility
On slick urban winter walkways

an interview with death

****the following dialogue is an imagined conversation between life and death. Imagine, if you will, a podcast where the two characters below have a conversation. This is the third draft.****

INTERVIEW WITH DEATH
A conversation between Life and Death

LIFE: Are you as “bad” as people try to make you seem?

DEATH: Well I hate to say it, but I’m mostly misunderstood.

L: In what way?

D: I chalk it up to bad PR over the past couple of millennia.

L: Elaborate please?

D: People often see me either as a caricature or as some horrible end of all they know and love, therefore they perceive that I am the very antithesis of all value actively seeking to hunt and eliminate it. But I’m not that way at all. I’m very “pro” for all they value and I’m very patient.

L: What would you say is a more accurate representation of you?

D: I’m always around. in fact I have always “been” and will always “be”. If you are alive now I’ll be waiting whether you like it or not. I’m very patient. I’m not actively seeking you but we will meet eventually.

L: What about people that feel they have an obligation to fight death - either through their individual beliefs, religious beliefs or if they are in some profession like the medical care industry?

D: First I’d like to say, I’m not looking for a fight. I actually loathe fighting. I think it’s shameful that so many would kill and murder, whether it’s in war, or street violence, forcing people onto me. I would much rather people come to me on their own, when they are ready. I’ll be waiting with open arms to comfort you, but please DON’T take that choice away from people. And as for the medical profession I really feel they try to hard to force people into living longer they are part of one large machine controlled by the insurance and pharmaceutical industry so I have no patience for them.

L: What about people that die in accidents?

D: Accidents will happen. Humans are perfectly imperfect therefore all they create has the same imperfections infused into it. No matter how hard they try; those imperfections will, at times, end in accidents. It cannot be avoided.

L: You said earlier that you’re not “anti” life - could you elaborate?

D: Sure. You (Life) and I are equal partners. Two sides of the same coin - to use a human metaphor - even if people don’t want, or, wish to ignore that fact.

L: That’s true. I like your analogy of “two sides…same coin”. that describes our partnership exactly. People, animals, things do not choose to be born and live. It is merely a change in a state of being. You are alive and then you’re not alive anymore.

Now, bring religion into it: so many people have created a seemingly inseparable link between death and their notion of heaven & hell (or an afterlife). Can you talk about heaven and hell in relation to your existence?

D: What I’m going to say may seem controversial or even offensive because now we’re entering the realms of belief and it is extremely difficult to do that fairly when people have very strong, strict and unwavering religious beliefs and concepts.
I will say, and I can imagine you might say the same about yourself, that I am non-religious therefore religious concepts and ideas do not carry any meaning for me. Like I said previously I am simply a state of existence/nonexistence. I AM. I just am, regardless of what anyone believes. It does not matter whether you are human, plant, animal, insect - I patiently wait for all to transition from life to death.

L: What about “things”? The death of things like politics, technology et al?

D: I do not concern myself with so-called “things”. Politics, nations, technology, social constructs, the environment and time are all human endeavors and most serve as a way that humans use to justify or force others into my realm, my presence.

L: And disease?

D: Now that is an interesting question: is disease alive? Certainly the things that cause disease are alive whether they are viruses, bacteria, cancer etc have been proven to be living. And the eradication of disease is a type of death. So yes disease itself will also end up in my realm. So the next question might be - Should humans seek to end disease (one life form) in order to preserve/extend there own life forms?

L: That is a great question. I would say that falls within the realm of “morality” which is again as you suggested early a human construct born out of a set of values/beliefs and therefore has no part in our discussion since we simply “are”.
What would you say is your greatest virtue?

D: Longevity. I always was, am and will be. And for all those who are cognizant/aware; I would say that is followed by endless peace and rest. There is a reason some refer to me as “eternal rest”.

L: Favorite Hobby?

D: Farming. But I need to add that I curse the day that someone saw me harvesting in my field and took an image of me with my scythe. A tool that I use to harvest my crops. It has forever altered peoples perceptions of me (chuckling) which is both humorous and a pain in the ass.

L: Speaking of perceptions; people will often use the phrase, “death will come for….” as if you are in pursuit. Do you actively seek out or hunt people?

D: Another misperception that has roots in fear mongering used by the religious with their notions of judgement and used to promote a certain code for people to adjust their behaviors while they are alive to qualify for an afterlife. I really hate fear-mongering by the religious and as I said before, I abhor violence and would NEVER seek someone out. I merely wait for …(pause searching for right words) … them to come to me.

L: I heard a pause before the word “them” as if you were about to say “their souls…come to me”. Can you describe for us, your experience with souls? Does everything/everyone have a soul?

D: (laughing) Yes, you almost caught me there. Human language is a tricky thing and it can be say to fall into cliches, aphorisms etc. Now about a soul. I think, like many things, the notion of a soul is a religious, human construct. Humans don’t have souls any more than animals, plants, insects…etc. I don’t think anyone has ever suggested that plants, viruses, insects or bacteria have souls - yet they live. Maybe a better word than soul is “intelligence”. All living things have a certain intelligence although it’s only humans that I’ve seen pervert that intelligence with deceit, lies, fraud etc.

L: I often hear humans talk about “legacy”. They worry so much about their legacy, how they will be remembered or what they leave behind.

D: (laughing) Oh that really is annoying. The whole ‘legacy” discussion is such a wast of time. They have no legacy because they will eventually be forgotten and all they ever did will be forgotten. Even the great religious figures that have seemingly endured for the past 3000 years…. in another thousand years they will be forgotten. And why are things and people forgotten? Because they and all they did become irrelevant to how times change. And another thing. Humans are the only beings that worry about legacy. There is not a single other species that takes it into consideration. They’re alive and they are gone.

L: You’ve mentioned misrepresentation a couple of times. What are other ways you feel misrepresented?

D: Human culture carries within it a huge trove of gross misrepresentation. From music like so-called death metal or other violent creative forms to the caricature of death as skeletal/skull/crossbones etc. That has ALWAYS perturbed me.

L: I can understand that because I look older than you and you appear quite young. I suppose I look older because life can be very taxing with all it’s trials and tribulations and every-changing situation through aging not to mention that actions taken by humans.

D: Well that’s me, Forever Young (laughing).

L: Wait. You’re quoting Bob Dylan now?

D: (chuckling) Yeah, I love Bob - I’ll be meeting him soon (smiling).

L: back to misrepresentation: So what’s wrong with the “bone” theme?

D: It’s merely a representation of the corruptibility of biological life and has nothing to do with me. I meet people long before the flesh has fallen away and bones are turned back to dust.

L: I see. I do agree because the decay process is part of my work. That is one way I clean-up what is no longer needed.

D: “One way”? are there others?

L: Yes, I also use other life forms that may want to feed on the dead to clean up that which is no longer needed. I’ve heard humans use the phrase “worm food” and that is actually an apt description. I’ve long been perplexed by human practice of burial in sealed crypts etc. Such a waste. I would much rather see the remains of the body continue to be of use to any life form that remains whether, worms, insects, other animals or plants. And with farming being your hobby I would think you would agree (Death nods his head in agreement).

So besides death metal and other what you call musical misrepresentations of you and your existence. What about other human art forms like Movies. Is there a movie that has represented you properly or are those also misrepresentations?

D: I would have to say that every movie, with one exception, has been an misrepresentation of who I am and what I represent. Most movies make this characterization or this link between death and the devil. And we’re nothing alike. There’s nothing similar between us. We are two separate ideas. And, as I suggested earlier, the whole notion of a devil is a religious construct and has nothing to do with reality. Now there is a movie that has come close to representing my existing. The Seventh Seal by Swedish film maker Ingmar Bergman. The Seventh Seal is a wonderful film, classic must-see film, that portrays a medieval knight (named Antonius Block) played by Max Von Sydow traveling with his companions through a plague riddled landscape where those who are dying from the black plague are all around. He is accompanied by the character of death played by the stoic Bengt Ekorot. The character of death is portrayed as a tall pale human figure in a simple cloak and it’s closer to what I am. At least it’s not the hooded skeletal figure with a boney finger protruding from the sleeve (laughing). In fact, I really love the attitude of the Knights squire played by exemplary actor Gunnar Björnstrand. The squire has a sometimes humorous and accepting attitude toward death with the understanding that it is the ultimate end of all living things - while the knight does everything within his power to stave off Death, going so far, as to play a zero sum game of chess in an attempt to outwit Death. But, of course, in the end they all die. And people are left to contemplate is it better to accept and welcome the inevitable or better to fight it by any and all means possible at any cost?

L: It’s been a pleasure talking with you. As we get ready to wrap up this discussion, do you have any final words that you wish us to know about you?

D: Thank you. No one has previously ever taken the time to know me. I found this very enjoyable indeed. I’m actually going to refer to another song - this one by The Animals, called Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood. I just want people to understand. I’m not a bad guy. I’m just something that happens and we will meet up eventually.
That’s all. Thank you.

…and the ass saw the angel…

(composed 7/24/23 - sadly still relevant - but I guess there is an overall message that there is hope for all asses)
THE ASS SAW THE ANGEL

Rushing into Balaam’s error
the rising tide of intolerance
misunderstanding and hatred

in the name of righteousness
the self-righteous persecute, shut-out
and prosecute those who are different

sameness is celebrated
difference ridiculed
summary judgement executed

and the ass saw the angel

migrants who seek a better life
are pushed down, pushed out
or just pushed

whipped for the color of their skin
their country of origin
their beliefs and lifestyle

and the ass saw the angel

blind to the flaming sword in front of them
the ignorant beat the drums of war
waving banners of injustice and fear

fools asleep in the light
loving the sounds of their own voices
drowning out the voice of angels

and the ass saw the angel

killing dreams
killing hope
killing difference

values killing
beliefs killing
love killing

and the ass saw the angel

* “the spirit of the Lord is on me
he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor
he has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
recovery of sight for the blind
release the oppressed
to proclaim the year of the Lords favor”


and the ass saw the angel


* see Isaiah 61:1,2 and Luke 4:18,19

The Whispering Winds

I live in the isness of the high hushed whispering winds.

Locked in the atomic dance between, electron, positron and neutron,
transitioning between existence and nonexistence.

Now you see me, now you don’t.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat...

Like the imperceptible flutter of your monitor screen.

difficult listening

I grew up in a safe environment. Everything was safe. The food was safe. Society was safe. School was safe. Home was safe. But as I got older I learned that it wasn’t safe it was just protected.

There are people who still want to live in their own comfortable “protected” worlds. But protection is a myth. A legend elders tell children. It does not exist. And insisting it does exist, does not make it so.

Further I suggest that propagating this delusion is more harmful than preparing for the facts. The truth. Example: Climate change deniers often use their arguments as an excuse to keep from preparing for the consequences of climate change and taking action to slow it’s impact. And now with the pandemic, humanities approach to disease belies their own unpreparedness. Death and sickness has become unacceptable (even though it is inevitable) So they wear masks, they fight over it, they try to shame those who are “awake” and not afraid.  They want a safe world where things don’t change. The climate doesn’t change. People don’t get sick and die. The world doesn’t change. Everything is safe.

What does this have to do with difficult music/difficult listening?
Like the quote from William S Burroughs in the Laurie Anderson video,

“language is a virus from outer space.”

Difficult music challenges a listeners perception of the norm. It suggests there is something else we need to consider. It suggests that we look into the dark corners. Difficult music is to sound what abstract expressionism was/is to art. And most people who have abstract art work treat if more as wallpaper than as something that has something to say/contribute to the conversation of our times. And in music, people typically do not choose to engage it because it requires them to think about what they are listening to. It is often difficult if not impossible to just hang it on a wall as pretty wallpaper for the soul. Difficult music is often derided as messy, juvenile, scary, ugly, inaccessible (not conforming to any known genre parameters) and ultimately ignored. It is the red-headed stepchild of the music world.

But we can learn much from difficult music. It is not something to be afraid of. The shadows are not scary if you enter with a flashlight. It can teach us about ourselves in ways we haven’t considered or dared think about. But to encounter and engage difficult music one must be prepared and perhaps that is the problem with our “protected”, “safe” elders they are not prepared and they do not know how to prepare the younger generation for the facts and truth of existence.

So, do you want to explore difficult music? Don’t know where to start?
Step One: Turn off the radio and TV – they are notorious “taste makers” that would rather keep you safe than expose you to truth. There are many artists that have helped me in preparing for the real world. I started learning about many “difficult” artists just from reading the underground music press (back in the 1980’s) when popular music was experiencing an explosion of variety. But difficult music existed long before I started reading about it.

Here are some artists you can start with (in no particular order):

Laurie Anderson                                                Public Enemy
Einsturzende Neubauten/Blixa Bargeld        The Last Poets
Alva Noto                                                             Lustmord
Laibach                                                                Rapoon/Zoviet*France
Robert Fripp/King Crimson et al                     Ornette Coleman
Diamanda Galas                                                 Lester Bowie
Sun Ra                                                                  Terry Riley
The Art Ensemble of Chicago                          Steve Reich
Philip Glass (early works)                                Markus Reuter
Robert Rich                                                          Scott Walker (after 1994)
Merzbow                                                              Cabaret Voltaire
Swans                                                                   Nurse With Wound
Matana Roberts                                                  Godspeed You! Black Emperor

The above artists all have work available on Youtube so enjoy your excursion into difficult music. Maybe in the future I’ll write about some of the specific recordings. Again this is just an introduction to difficult listening. Maybe not what you want to listen to in these difficult times but the music does speak to the truth of the times we are experiencing.

I’ll start you off with this Nurse With Wound video for the song BOTTOM FEEDER

Happy Birthday Maher Zain

Maher Zain born 16 July 1981.    A singer/songwriter who’s music can be described as  inspirational pop and many classify as R&B.  Born in Tripoli, Lebanon his family emigrated to Sweden when he was 8 years old.  His music has a strong muslim influence but don’t let that throw you off.  He sings mostly in English but also mixes in Arabic, French, Turkish, Malay and Indonesian.   He is also known to release different versions of the songs in each language.  He releases his recordings on the Awakening Music label.    His videos are powerful connections between lyric, sound and image.   He finds commonality in his faith where so many try to find difference and separation.    I find that many of they lyrics could be appreciated by Christian, Jews, Buddhists.   If his videos sometimes seem political it is simply because he takes an event as the core topic of the story/message he is trying to spread.   It is not a politics of separation but, instead, a politics of unity, exploring commonality in the human experience.  Songs of social justice and conflict.  Here are several videos.   I hope you enjoy.

His newest video in remembrance of the Bosnia Genocide that began 11th July 1995.


Nearly every year he releases a different video celebrating the Muslim holiday of Ramadan. Here is his video for Ramadan 2020. ANTASALM (You[God] Are Peace) – an encouragement in a year of great difficulty.

A song addressing Racism in this summer of racial unrest.

A song dedicated to mothers.

Love Will Prevail – An emotional take from 2013 of the tragedy that is, continues to be, Syria. As we confront ongoing violence around the world – let’s look to our own communities – will we let love prevail?

Another Ramadan video (this one from 2013) – exploring spiritual longing, community and celebration.

Finally. A message that I think is more important in these times of unrest, outrage and deep offense. I think there is a time for everything. We need to have conversations not just telling but also listening. We need to change the things we have the power to change and let of the things we cannot change. There are great harmonies in the song and it makes me think how letting go can promote harmony.

Musings on Prayer

Recently I’ve been thinking about prayer and how religious organizations are capitalizing on and exploiting peoples weakness during the corona virus to convert new believers, claims of healing, surviving etc.

Yesterday I just started to write down some thoughts in my journal.

It doesn’t rain because you pray, The sun doesn’t shine because you pray. Disaster doesn’t spare you, your friends or family because you pray. Yo don’t recover from illness because you pray. You don’t enjoy good health because you pray. Your enemies don’t suffer because you pray and you don’t suffer because others pray.

You created God and now you’re unhappy with your creation. What was once the domain of religion is now the domain of science. Still you refuse to believe.

Again, those are just some preliminary thoughts to be fleshed out sometime in the future.

I am a H-U-G-E fan of Nick Cave (the musician). A few months ago I subscribed to his “Red Hand Files” newsletter where once a week he answers a fans question. Questions range from the banal (favorite books?, favorite protest songs? etc) to the more serious (how did you cope with the loss of your son? and in April “A prayer to who?”)

He had some very interesting thoughts on prayer which I want to share.


Dear Patrick,

The act of prayer is by no means exclusive to religious practise because prayer is not dependent on the existence of a subject. You need not pray to anyone. It is just as valuable to pray into your disbelief, as it is to pray into your belief, for prayer is not an encounter with an external agent, rather it is an encounter with oneself. There is as much chance of our prayers being answered by a God that exists as a God that doesn’t. I do not mean this facetiously, for prayers are very often answered.

A prayer provides us with a moment in time where we can contemplate the things that are important to us, and this watchful application of our attention can manifest these essential needs. The act of prayer asks of us something and by doing so delivers much in return — it asks us to present ourselves to the unknown as we are, devoid of pretence and affectation, and to contemplate exactly what it is we love or cherish. Through this conversation with our inner self we confront the nature of our own existence.

The coronavirus has brought us to our knees, yet it has also presented us with the opportunity to be prayerful, whether we believe in God or not. By forcing us into isolation, it has dismantled our constructed selves, by challenging our presumed needs, our desires, and our ambitions and rendered us raw, essential and reflective. Our sudden dislocation has thrown us into a mystery that exists at the edge of tears and revelation, for none of us knows what tomorrow will bring.

In our hubris we thought we knew, but as we bow our heads within the virus’ awesome power, all we are sure of now is our defencelessness. In the end this vulnerability may be, for our planet and ourselves, our saving grace, as we step chastened into tomorrow. Released from our certitude, we present our purest offering to the world — our prayers.

Love, Nick

To check out and subscribe to Nick Caves THE RED HAND FILES – click this link. https://www.theredhandfiles.com

considering…

Considering the overwhelming impact of humanity on this planet I’m left with the following questions and statements to think about:

How much more of humanity can our planet support?
How much more of humanity will our planet tolerate?
At what point will our natural resources run out?
Then what?
Is there a danger that humanity will become extinct?
Would that be a bad thing?
Is the problem Humanity or merely the sheer volume/numbers of our species? After all no other species has completely dominated the earth like Humanity.

Nature always attempts to reset.
Isn’t the Corona Virus COVID-19, an attempt by nature to reset the balance of humanity to earths resources? Should we fight the Corona Virus, COVID-19?
In fighting nature aren’t we trying to control it and force it to our liking, our whims regardless of what may be best for our species AND the planet?
Does humanity have a false sense of value?
Does humanity have a false sense of what is morally right?
Does humanity have a false sense of importance?
Didn’t God create humanity to be caretakers of this planet?
when did humanity evolve from the “Image of God” to being god?
Hasn’t God always punished humanity for overstepping (think of the Tower of Babel)?

Even if we defeat the Corona Virus, COVID-19, something else will come along?
Just because we CAN – does that mean we SHOULD?
People will always get sick and people will ALWAYS die. Personally I’d rather die by natural cause like a virus than by a gun, war, violence or technological accident. Just think how much better the world will be if people took the same extreme measures to stop war, curb gun violence, domestic violence and other crimes of humanity – is it really just and right to imprison people in their homes because we are afraid?

http://www.anthropocene.info/pb5.php
what are the 7 signs of the Anthropocene – a manmade epoch?
1.Nuclear Weapons
2.Accelerated use of fossil fuels
3.The invention of 3 materials that have forever changed how we live: Concrete, Aluminum, Plastics
4.manmade change of earths geology through farming, mining, deforestation, landfills, dam building, coastal reclamation
5.Increased use of fertilizers
6.Climate change/global warming
7.mass extinction – we are currently in what is called the 6th mass extinction in planetary history with 3/4ths of species due to be wiped out in the coming centuries.

coronavirus 2020 #8

messages from the future #3 evn smlr

The harder you try to “do it right” – you’ll always end up “going down, down, down”. Become an anomaly. Be different!

coronavirus 2020 #7

Messages #1 evn smlr

Sure we need to be careful but use common sense. Hygiene is important. If you follow basic common sense you’ll be fine.  Enjoy your life.  After all this life could be your last.

coronavirus 2020 #6

messages from the future #31 evn smlr

What are we losing? What are we giving up?
“Keep a distance of 6 feet between you and others”
“don’t touch each other”
“wear a mask”
In short, don’t kiss, shake hands or fuck.

coronavirus 2020 #5

messages from the future #37 evn smlr

With the Coronavirus there is a full-blown panic here in the US as a complete failure of leadership continues to be the real plague on our country. This panic has resulted in empty store shelves, events cancelled on a large scale, nothing is permitted where a group of 50 or more may gather. “Wartime” curfew 9pm.   Is this how we finally lose our freedom? Is this how government will control us? What happened to “freedom of assembly”? Will it ever be restored? Will we finally rise up? Or, will we remain comfortably numb?

My cell has windows and a doors but I AM NOT FREE!

coronavirus 2020 #4

messages from the future #18 evn smlr
Isn’t prevention merely a deception? Doesn’t it mean there is only a delay?
The hard truth is WE WILL ALL DIE most by disease. What’s the big deal? Get ready for it. Don’t panic. Be calm.

The music track below will not be for everyone. And there were several tracks I considered by this artist. Diamanda Galas with here 7 octave voice in her track “This Is The Law Of The Plague” from her PLAGUE MASS recording is a haunting experience worth listening to. She “shreds” the voice like a guitar player will “shred” guitar. Let it move you.

Coronavirus 2020 #3

messages from the future #50 evn smlr

Everyone is looking for a cure. But will that be enough? Aren’t we often addicted to our suffering? Isn’t suffering more exciting and newsworthy than a cure?

corona virus don’t panic

A brand new image.
CORONA VIRUS 2020

If this Corona Virus will teach us anything – it is that when it comes to human experience – the best of all possible futures is a dystopia for the majority and a utopia for the minority of survivors. That said, I prefer to think of the future as not written in stone. I like Bob Marley’s sound advice
“…don’t worry about a thing, ’cause everything’s gonna be alright”

and Michael Franti – don’t panic – Stay Human – spend less time looking suspiciously at each other and more time looking out FOR each other.

and finally

Coronavirus 2020

messages from the future #82 sm

Due to the Coronavirus “madness” that has gripped the world – This image is the first of several images I will be reposting selected creations of my “MESSAGES FROM THE FUTURE” series from 2012/2013. The madness starts with the news media.
The clip below from Monty Python’s Holy Grail seems fitting since this coronavirus pandemic is being treated like the “black death” of the middle ages. Just some stuff to think about.

I urge caution and calm when the media would have us PANIC!