ice and fog

ICE AND FOG 1
ICE AND FOG 2
ICE AND FOG 3

I’m looking at clouds from the inside and asking questions in a world of blue.   Floating in the icy ether of wonder and amazement. I feel the cold harshness of ice yet am comforted by the blanket of fog wrapped around my body and soul, satisfied by the question when the answer eludes me.

The song Sung by Julee Cruise, Questions In A World Of Blue from the TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME film soundtrack.   Written by master song stylist Angelo Badalamenti.  A beautiful song of loss.   The musical essence of saudade.  Like ice and fog.   

FOUR 4 A FOGGY SUNDAY

I sometimes think there are 5 seasons instead of 4.  Fog is like its own season because like the other 4 seasons it completely changes our perception of the landscape.  

FOGGY SUNDAY 1
FOGGY SUNDAY 2
FOGGY SUNDAY 3
FOGGY SUNDAY 4

A delightful song, LOST IN A FOG, sung by Ella Fitzgerald.

*no guarantee video will play outside the US.*

absence of field

If you’re familiar with photography you are most likely familiar with depth of field.   But I want to explore absence of field and I think all of my photography does that in some way.   I’ve written a little bit about a related viewpoint previously when I discussed my fascination with what goes on outside the frame of the photo.   But absence of field is yet a variation of sorts of that notion.   What is absent in my photographs?  It really is quite obvious.   I recently came across a poem by the great poet Mark Strand that describes this absence of field perfectly.   

Keeping Things Whole
 
In a field
I am the absence
of field.
This is
always the case.
Wherever I am
I am what is missing.
 
When I walk
I part the air
and always
the air moves in   
to fill the spaces
where my body’s been.
 
We all have reasons
for moving.
I move
to keep things whole.
 
 
 
So therefore; when I take a photo it is complete or whole because I am not there.  I, the photographer,  am always moving .  To keep things whole for my photos.  You may see me in someone else’s photos but not my own.  I am the absence where air rushes in.   Another way to look at it.   When you stick your hand in a river, lake or any body of water – as you withdraw, does the water hold the shape of your hand?  No.  It rushes back to fill the void.   The water cannot tolerate the void.  It must be complete.   Such is a photo.  It captures the completeness(i.e. wholeness) of all things – even if those things (like today’s photo) may seem to be missing something.  It is still complete as it captures a singular moment of the subjects evolutionary life cycle.    When I am dead even though I may appear to not move; I will continue to move as the decay process takes over until I return to the earth as dust.   And when I am no longer remembered, when that dust is then used to bring nutrition or life to something else after I am gone I will still be moving.  Absence is just as important as presence.  This also helps explain why a photo will never be of the future – it will always be the past because the once the photograph has been taken the photographer moves on even though the subject in the photo continues to change.  You may say, “what about time-lapse” photography.   That still only projects the past.  By time you see it the subject has completely moved on.   It is all part of maintaining a wholeness in the universe.  Absence is the grace that presence cannot afford.  We do not need presence to be happy.   We can find happiness in absence.  To loop back to the poem we can find happiness in the rush of air to fill the void as I move away until something else comes and fills that space.  Probably the closest thing in photography that captures the sense of moving to keep things whole is Polaroid or instamatic photography.   While you are watching the photo develop the blank space slowly becomes filled with the image.  From absence to wholeness.  But unfortunately that’s where it ends (or does it?). 
 
Musically Samuel Barber’s Adagio For Strings captures these notion especially at the climax where there is a great silence/pause which punctuates the sound.
or you may like the Choral version by one of my favorite vocal groups.

urban growth

Urban Growth

“The kind of control you’re attempting, it’s not possible…
one thing the history of evolution has taught us is that life will not be contained;
life breaks free.  It expands to new territories, crashes through barriers,
painfully, maybe even dangerously….
I’m simply saying, life finds a way.”
~ Jurassic Park (movie)

The Carnival Is Over

carnival is over

Outside the storm clouds gathering
Moved silently along the dusty boulevard
Where flowers turning crane their fragile necks
So they can in turn reach up and kiss the sky

They’re driven by a strange desire
Unseen by the human eye
Someone’s calling

I remember when you held my hand
In the park we would play
When the circus came to town
Look over here

Outside the circus gathering
Moved silently along the rain swept boulevard
The procession moved on, the shouting is over
The fabulous freaks are leaving town

They’re driven by a strange desire
Unseen by the human eye
Someone’s calling

The carnival is over

We sat and watched
As the moon rose
For the very first time

carnival of rust

Carnival of Rust

To breathe the name
Of your savior
In your hour of need
And taste the blame
If the flavor should remind you of greed
Of implication, insinuation and you will
Till you cannot lie still
In all this turmoil, before red cave and foil
Come closing in for a kill

Come feed the rain
‘Cause I’m thirsty for your love
Dancing underneath the skies of lust
Yeah feed the rain
‘Cause without your love, my life
Ain’t nothing but this carnival of rust

It’s all a game
Avoiding failure
When true colors will bleed
All in the name
Of misbehavior
And the things we don’t need

I lust for after no disaster can touch
Touch us anymore
And more than ever, w hope to never fall
Where enough is not the same it was before

Come feed the rain
‘Cause I’m thirsty for your love
Dancing underneath the skies of lust
Yeah feed the rain
‘Cause without your love, my life
Ain’t nothing but this carnival of rust

Yeah feed the rain
‘Cause I’m thirsty for your love,
Dancing underneath the skies of lust
Yeah, feed the rain
‘Cause without your love, my life
Ain’t nothing but this carnival of rust

Don’t walk away, don’t walk away
Ooh, when the world is burning
Don’t walk away, don’t walk away
Ooh, when the heart is yearning
Don’t walk away, don’t walk away
Ooh, when the world is burning
Don’t walk away, don’t walk away
Ooh, when the heart is yearning

digging in the dirt

Diggin In The Dirt

Something in me, dark and sticky
All the time it’s getting strong
No way of dealing with this feeling
I can’t go on like this too longThis time you’ve gone too far
This time you’ve gone too far
This time you’ve gone too far,
I told you, I told you, I told you, I told youDon’t talk back, just drive the car
Shut your mouth, I know what you are
Don’t say nothing, keep your hands on the wheel
Don’t turn around, this is for realDigging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I’m digging in the dirt
Find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurtThe more I look, the more I find
As I close on in, I get so blind
I feel it in my head, I feel it in my toes
I feel it in my sex, that’s the place it goesThis time you’ve gone too far
This time you’ve gone too far
This time you’ve gone too far,
I told you, I told you, I told you, I told youDon’t talk back, just drive the car
Shut your mouth, I know what you are
Don’t say nothing, keep your hands on the wheel
Don’t turn around, this is for realDigging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I’m digging in the dirt
Find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurtDigging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I’m digging in the dirt
Find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
I got hurtDigging in the dirt, to find the places we got hurt
Digging in the dirt, to find the places we got hurt
Digging in the dirt, to find the places we got hurt
Digging in the dirt, to find the places we got hurt

lovers in a dangerous time

Lovers In A Dangerous Time

Don’t the hours grow shorter as the days go by
You never get to stop and open your eyes
One day you’re waiting for the sky to fall
And next you’re dazzled by the beauty of it all
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

These fragile bodies of touch and taste
This vibrant skin this hair like lace
Spirits open to the thrust of grace
Never a breath you can afford to waste

When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Sometimes you’re made to feel as if your love’s a crime
Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
Got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight

When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

It’s not too late

It's Not Too Late

The wind turns like a dagger, the rain falls like a hammer
The sky has grown dark but it’s not too late
The weather crashes down, what’s lost cannot be found
The night is closing but it’s not too late

It’s not too late, it’s not too late
It’s not too late, it’s not too late
The atmosphere is lethal but I will fear no evil

The ocean rolls like thunder, the tempest pulls us under
The dogs are howling but it’s not too late
As broken structures rust, false idols turn to dust
All lies in ashes but it’s not too late

It’s not too late, it’s not too late
It’s not too late, it’s not too late
The atmosphere is lethal but I will fear no evil

In the dark before the dawn, the echo of the siren song
Dies away like a ghost, as the day breaks

It’s not too late, it’s not too late
It’s not too late, it’s not too late
The atmosphere is lethal but I will fear no evil

arriving somewhere but not here

Arriving Somewhere But Not Here

Never stop the car on a drive in the dark
Never look for the truth in your mother’s eyes
Never trust the sound of rain upon a river
Rushing through your ears

Arriving somewhere but not here

Did you imagine the final sound as a gun?
Or the smashing windscreen of a car?
Did you ever imagine the last thing you’d hear as you’re fading out was a song?

All my designs, simplified
And all of my plans, compromised
All of my dreams, sacrificed

Ever had the feeling you’ve been here before?
Drinking down the poison the way you were taught
Every thought from here on in your life begins
And all you knew was wrong?

Arriving somewhere but not here

All my designs, simplified
And all of my plans, compromised
All of my dreams, sacrificed

Did you see the red mist block your path?
Did the scissors cut a way to your heart?

I Still Believe!

I Still Believe

I been in a cave
For forty days
Only a spark
To light my way
I wanna give out
I wanna give in
This is our crime
This is our sin

But I still believe
I still believe
Through the pain
And through the grief
Through the lives
Through the storms
Through the cries
And through the wars
Oh, I still believe

Flat on my back
Out at sea
Hopin’ these waves
Don’t cover me
I’m turned and tossed
Upon the waves
When the darkness comes
I feel the grave

But I still believe
I still believe
Through the cold
And through the heat
Through the rain
And through the tears
Through the crowds
And through the cheers
Oh, I still believe

I’ll march this road
I’ll climb this hill
Upon on my knees
If I have to
I’ll take my place
Up on this stage
I’ll wait ’til the end of time
For you like everybody else

I’m out on my own
Walkin’ the streets
Look at the faces
That I meet
I feel like I
Like I want to go home
What do I feel
What do I know

But I still believe
I still believe
Through the shame
And through the grief
Through the heartache
Through the tears
Through the waiting
Through the years

For people like us
In places like this
We need all the hope
That we can get
Oh, I still believe

You’re the only good thing in my life

You're the only good thing in my life

You only fuck for love
Told me you could never get enough
Posing as a Playboy centerfold
You could be my Penthouse Pet, I know

You make me think of storms on the beaches
With all the lights off

Everything is wrong, but it’s alright
You’re the only good thing in my life

Do what your heart desires
Love is always strange when it just starts
Shouldn’t have a care left in the world
Naked, tanning by the swimming pool…

Laying in the sun,
Never need to tell me when you come
Because you know that I can just feel it