





I’m looking at clouds from the inside and asking questions in a world of blue. Floating in the icy ether of wonder and amazement. I feel the cold harshness of ice yet am comforted by the blanket of fog wrapped around my body and soul, satisfied by the question when the answer eludes me.
The song Sung by Julee Cruise, Questions In A World Of Blue from the TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME film soundtrack. Written by master song stylist Angelo Badalamenti. A beautiful song of loss. The musical essence of saudade. Like ice and fog.
Song is The Morning Fog by Kate Bush
I sometimes think there are 5 seasons instead of 4. Fog is like its own season because like the other 4 seasons it completely changes our perception of the landscape.
A delightful song, LOST IN A FOG, sung by Ella Fitzgerald.
*no guarantee video will play outside the US.*
Happy New Year everyone. The promise of snow over the Holidays was not exaggerated. On Christmas morning we had 6-8 inches on the ground and and 1-2 inches fell throughout Christmas Day. But that is past. The New Year is upon us. This song expresses my dearest desire for each and every one of you. That you feel safe. For safety is not about the pandemic and has pitifully dominated the past year – like the song says it’s about living with/in grace, being rested, calm, anchored, unchained, holding no blame, no fear, no blame, being brave and open. I would also argue that is the foundation of love. I love each and everyone one of you even if we have never physically met. Thank you for your kindness and support.
Safe
Rested
Clear
Calm
grace
centered
here
home
we’ve fought so hard
we’ve come so far
back where we began
and for all the joys and sorrows
finally we can
be safe
anchored
unchained
faith
holding
no
blame
and the future is everything
as we forgive ourselves
and we reach beyond the wreckage
of you loving someone else
our hearts are still surrendering
now the wounds will heal
in spite of everything
learning how to feel
safe
hopeful
no
fear
brave
open
now
we’re
safe
be kind and always
remember to love
this one life we live
has to be enough
be kind and always
remember to love
this one life we live
has to be enough
Looks like we will have snow for Christmas here in Ohio. I honestly can’t remember the last time we had a white Christmas. Well with everything going on this past year the holidays are somewhat melancholic. One of my favorite “mood” singers is Julia Fordham. Here is her song DECEMBER 24TH originally from a 1995 compilation album Winter Fire & Snow: Songs For The Holiday Season that featured various artists from around the world.
The lyrics will take you through the rest of this year into the new year. Enjoy.
“just goes to show ya, just goes to show ya, none of us have time to waste….you don’t always get back what you give”
Since Winter has long been a favorite time of year – because this old bear enjoys hibernation – and I had “need” to go out and see what snow cover there might be – I decided to head out this morning, with my camera, as the sun rose slowly in a clouded sky. I went to one park where I’ve been spending a lot of time the past few months and I went someplace I’ve never been to in Winter. And since the Winter Solstice is just around the corner I decided to post a couple of snow photos of the place I’ve never been to in Winter. Over the Summer and fall this location is used as a popular outdoor music venue and is also the site of an outdoor theater where plays are staged over the warmer months. The areas you see in the photos would be the grassy fields where cars park and concert goers would then walk to the main venue. The music venue has hosted all the major rock and pop acts over the years. I’d seen a few shows here but ticket prices were normally out of my budget. I actually prefer it as you see it here – empty. Never really got used to the large drunken crowds that tended to populate these events. So enjoy my version of “winter fest” at Blossom Music Center in Cuyahoga Falls, OH.
Something we all need to be reminded of from time to time. We as human beings have a habit of blowing things out of proportion and making them seem more important than they are.
I want you to think about what makes you angry, frustrated, sad, hopeless. It might be relationships, politics, health, personal economics/finances, business, religion, culture, media, the environment etc. Nothing is off bounds. Everything matters here. I’m guessing there is at least one thing that immediately comes to mind for every individual.
Now.
Let it go.
Let it go now.
And yes, that seems easy; but it’s not, especially the more invested you are in the subject whether it’s emotionally, spiritually or intellectual investment.
But do you think the tree in Autumn wants to let go of its leaves? Or that it’s easy. And yet it does. The tree feels the pain of separation with each leaf – sometimes a thousand times. Year after year the tree will let go of its leaves. The tree does not know what the future holds but it continues the cycle.
So for all the things that seem so important at the time – in the long view – they are not important at all.
They are about as important as a “pebble lying on a gravel road”. So let it go. Sometimes it’s easier sung than done. I found that singing this song while I’m thinking of these things helps me keep things in perspective and remember what’s really important.
Maybe a nice practice would be to write down all these things than anger, frustrate (…etc.) you. Then like Autumn leaves – burn them. Let the worries and cares turn to ash. Then wash them away.
Outside the storm clouds gathering
Moved silently along the dusty boulevard
Where flowers turning crane their fragile necks
So they can in turn reach up and kiss the skyThey’re driven by a strange desire
Unseen by the human eye
Someone’s callingI remember when you held my hand
In the park we would play
When the circus came to town
Look over hereOutside the circus gathering
Moved silently along the rain swept boulevard
The procession moved on, the shouting is over
The fabulous freaks are leaving townThey’re driven by a strange desire
Unseen by the human eye
Someone’s callingThe carnival is over
We sat and watched
As the moon rose
For the very first time
To breathe the name
Of your savior
In your hour of need
And taste the blame
If the flavor should remind you of greed
Of implication, insinuation and you will
Till you cannot lie still
In all this turmoil, before red cave and foil
Come closing in for a killCome feed the rain
‘Cause I’m thirsty for your love
Dancing underneath the skies of lust
Yeah feed the rain
‘Cause without your love, my life
Ain’t nothing but this carnival of rustIt’s all a game
Avoiding failure
When true colors will bleed
All in the name
Of misbehavior
And the things we don’t needI lust for after no disaster can touch
Touch us anymore
And more than ever, w hope to never fall
Where enough is not the same it was beforeCome feed the rain
‘Cause I’m thirsty for your love
Dancing underneath the skies of lust
Yeah feed the rain
‘Cause without your love, my life
Ain’t nothing but this carnival of rustYeah feed the rain
‘Cause I’m thirsty for your love,
Dancing underneath the skies of lust
Yeah, feed the rain
‘Cause without your love, my life
Ain’t nothing but this carnival of rustDon’t walk away, don’t walk away
Ooh, when the world is burning
Don’t walk away, don’t walk away
Ooh, when the heart is yearning
Don’t walk away, don’t walk away
Ooh, when the world is burning
Don’t walk away, don’t walk away
Ooh, when the heart is yearning
Something in me, dark and sticky
All the time it’s getting strong
No way of dealing with this feeling
I can’t go on like this too longThis time you’ve gone too far
This time you’ve gone too far
This time you’ve gone too far,
I told you, I told you, I told you, I told youDon’t talk back, just drive the car
Shut your mouth, I know what you are
Don’t say nothing, keep your hands on the wheel
Don’t turn around, this is for realDigging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I’m digging in the dirt
Find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurtThe more I look, the more I find
As I close on in, I get so blind
I feel it in my head, I feel it in my toes
I feel it in my sex, that’s the place it goesThis time you’ve gone too far
This time you’ve gone too far
This time you’ve gone too far,
I told you, I told you, I told you, I told youDon’t talk back, just drive the car
Shut your mouth, I know what you are
Don’t say nothing, keep your hands on the wheel
Don’t turn around, this is for realDigging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I’m digging in the dirt
Find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurtDigging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I’m digging in the dirt
Find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
I got hurtDigging in the dirt, to find the places we got hurt
Digging in the dirt, to find the places we got hurt
Digging in the dirt, to find the places we got hurt
Digging in the dirt, to find the places we got hurt
I’m more afraid of living
Than I am scared to die
I’m more afraid of falling
Than I am of flying high
Every moral has a story
Every story has an end
Every battle has its glory
And its consequence
I’m more afraid of loving
Than I am of being scorned
But I will keep on trying
Though I have been forewarned
Every moral has a story
Every story has an end
Every battle has its glory
And its consequence
I would rather me be lonely
And you have someone to hold
I’m not as scared of dying
As I am of growing old.
Every moral has a story
Every story has an end
Every battle has its glory
And its consequence
Don’t the hours grow shorter as the days go by
You never get to stop and open your eyes
One day you’re waiting for the sky to fall
And next you’re dazzled by the beauty of it all
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
These fragile bodies of touch and taste
This vibrant skin this hair like lace
Spirits open to the thrust of grace
Never a breath you can afford to waste
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Sometimes you’re made to feel as if your love’s a crime
Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
Got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
The wind turns like a dagger, the rain falls like a hammer
The sky has grown dark but it’s not too late
The weather crashes down, what’s lost cannot be found
The night is closing but it’s not too lateIt’s not too late, it’s not too late
It’s not too late, it’s not too late
The atmosphere is lethal but I will fear no evilThe ocean rolls like thunder, the tempest pulls us under
The dogs are howling but it’s not too late
As broken structures rust, false idols turn to dust
All lies in ashes but it’s not too lateIt’s not too late, it’s not too late
It’s not too late, it’s not too late
The atmosphere is lethal but I will fear no evilIn the dark before the dawn, the echo of the siren song
Dies away like a ghost, as the day breaksIt’s not too late, it’s not too late
It’s not too late, it’s not too late
The atmosphere is lethal but I will fear no evil
Never stop the car on a drive in the dark
Never look for the truth in your mother’s eyes
Never trust the sound of rain upon a river
Rushing through your earsArriving somewhere but not here
Did you imagine the final sound as a gun?
Or the smashing windscreen of a car?
Did you ever imagine the last thing you’d hear as you’re fading out was a song?All my designs, simplified
And all of my plans, compromised
All of my dreams, sacrificedEver had the feeling you’ve been here before?
Drinking down the poison the way you were taught
Every thought from here on in your life begins
And all you knew was wrong?Arriving somewhere but not here
All my designs, simplified
And all of my plans, compromised
All of my dreams, sacrificedDid you see the red mist block your path?
Did the scissors cut a way to your heart?
I been in a cave
For forty days
Only a spark
To light my way
I wanna give out
I wanna give in
This is our crime
This is our sinBut I still believe
I still believe
Through the pain
And through the grief
Through the lives
Through the storms
Through the cries
And through the wars
Oh, I still believeFlat on my back
Out at sea
Hopin’ these waves
Don’t cover me
I’m turned and tossed
Upon the waves
When the darkness comes
I feel the graveBut I still believe
I still believe
Through the cold
And through the heat
Through the rain
And through the tears
Through the crowds
And through the cheers
Oh, I still believeI’ll march this road
I’ll climb this hill
Upon on my knees
If I have to
I’ll take my place
Up on this stage
I’ll wait ’til the end of time
For you like everybody elseI’m out on my own
Walkin’ the streets
Look at the faces
That I meet
I feel like I
Like I want to go home
What do I feel
What do I knowBut I still believe
I still believe
Through the shame
And through the grief
Through the heartache
Through the tears
Through the waiting
Through the yearsFor people like us
In places like this
We need all the hope
That we can get
Oh, I still believe
You only fuck for love
Told me you could never get enough
Posing as a Playboy centerfold
You could be my Penthouse Pet, I knowYou make me think of storms on the beaches
With all the lights offEverything is wrong, but it’s alright
You’re the only good thing in my lifeDo what your heart desires
Love is always strange when it just starts
Shouldn’t have a care left in the world
Naked, tanning by the swimming pool…Laying in the sun,
Never need to tell me when you come
Because you know that I can just feel it
Let me bring you songs from the wood:
To make you feel much better than you could know
Dust you down from tip to toe
Show you how the garden grows
Hold you steady as you go
Join the chorus if you can:
It’ll make of you an honest man
Let me bring you love from the field:
Poppies red and roses filled with summer rain
To heal the wound and still the pain
That threatens again and again
As you drag down every lover’s lane
Life’s long celebration’s here
I’ll toast you all in penny cheer
Let me bring you all things refined:
Galliards and lute songs served in chilling ale
Greetings well met fellow, hail!
I am the wind to fill your sail
I am the cross to take your nail:
A singer of these ageless times
With kitchen prose and gutter rhymes
Songs from the wood – make you feel much better
Songs from the wood
Let me bring you love from the field:
Poppies red and roses filled with summer rain
To heal the wound and still the pain
That threatens again and again
As you drag down every lovers’ lane
Life’s long celebration’s here
I’ll toast you all in penny cheer
There’s no time for us,
There’s no place for us,
What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us.Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever
There’s no chance for us,
It’s all decided for us,
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us.Who wants to live forever,
Who dares to love forever,
When love must die.But touch my tears with your lips,
Touch my world with your fingertips,
And we can have forever,
And we can love forever,
Forever is our today,
Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever,
Forever is our today,
Who wants forever anyway?
This post starts a new series of images. An evolution from the previous week. Darker. Moodier. Yet wherever there is faintest light there is some hope.
For these images I removed all color except the red tones and added a sepia filter.
“October, and the trees are stripped bare of all they wear
What do I care?
October, and kingdoms rise and kingdoms fall
but you go on
and on”