… on… the macro verse….

I’ve long been fascinated with macro photography.  It’s so hard to do it right.  And I’m usually too lazy to carry a tripod around so I’ve never really bothered.   But lately, as my previous post shows.  I’ve started getting into the so-called groove of close-up and macro imaging.    I still don’t use a tripod – all handheld – so the number of useable images are limited.

This morning was a beautiful frosty December morning and I decided to go to a local park close to downtown and only about 5 minutes from my apartment.   Here are two of the images I was able to use from this morning along with two new haiku.  Hope you enjoy them.

Les Bébés Congelés

Frosty mornings
Inhale a crispy frozen breath
I gasp, in love

Whiplash wind storm
When I am lost you bend me back
See what’s behind

Whiplash Bend

The music moment is provided by the Tindersticks.    Their song FROZEN from their recent album – The Something Rain.

… on… my disappearance….

Identity presence existence metaphysic existential reality:
these are the issues.

“Life is an illusion and we trick ourselves into thinking and believing it’s real.”           ~ mobius faith diaries

When I took this photo (below) I was fascinated by the door handles, lock and chain. But as is often the case – after I got home and started processing the image I realized something quite disturbing. I was standing directly in front of these doors but nowhere in the image. No reflection of the photographer. Where had I gone? Where was the photographer? I suddenly began to question my existence for some reason. I began to doubt all that I thought I knew was real. I just could not fathom…. logic told me that when someone is standing in front of an object that is casting a reflection that person should be part of the reflection. But here, the glass doors were reflecting the street behind me but showed no interest in reflecting me – the reflected image was not interested in my narcissistic obsession. Okay so this is the stuff of nightmares. I actually did have a nightmare about this the night I processed this image. There had to be some logical explanation. There was NO “photoshopping” of this image to remove my reflection. I had simply disappeared at some point in time between the time I pressed the button on the shutter and when the shutter closed again. This was during the day so there was no time-lapse – I was shooting at full speed.

Locked Between Two Worlds

I noticed the crack/space where the two door meet. Had I disappeared into the crack of dark space. And if so how come I have no recollection? If we cease to exist do we have no recollection of what came before? If we cease to exist on this plane do we just start some other existence with no remembrance of the existence we had when we were mortal corporeal beings? Had I crossed some astral plane to the other side of the doors and was looking out? At one point I did actually wonder if I was looking out or looking in thru these doors. One can see the windows in the vacant dark space which contrast with the reflection of the street. But again, I began to question – is this a reflection of the windows or reflections of the street?

Your music moment today is provided by Khôra featuring their track ONE IS THE OTHER from their album Silent Your Body Is Endless on my favorite Canadian Label (Constellation Records).

***The truth of the matter – destroy your illusions – reflections have a way of bending.  And that’s exactly what happened in this image.  As you can see in the photo there is a space between the doors which means they were not sealed tightly shut.  They were bowed out slightly reflecting the sides of the entrance and the street behind.  The doors were bowed out enough to allow me to stand in the crack or space between without being in the reflection.   You can figure out exactly how much if you measure the angle in the reflections which seem to close in behind me.  Also logic tells me (and you hopefully) that there is no entranceway like this that narrows then gets wider as you get closer to the door.  Think of a theater – outside on the sidewalk the entrance is wide and then funnels you into the doors not the other way around.

Bottom line.  I no longer have nightmares about getting lost and disappearing.  I CAN understand, appreciate and enjoy when it does happen.  🙂

… on… knock, knock….

Behind caged bars
restless heart, fearful mind
murmurs of changeKnock Knock

This image is one of the not-so-hidden spaces in downtown Akron.   Just on the other side of this building is South Main St.   And it is adjacent to the Akron Civic Theater.   This entire area has been under a slow renovation for several years.  Just behind me is the popular LOCK 4 of the canal which runs through this area. It is already repurposed as a wonderful outdoor entertainment space with live jazz, blues and gospel over the warmer months.  When I peered though the windows on South Main and between the bars through the cracks in the plywood I did see construction lighting and various clean-up tools as if this structure is under renovation.   I just hope they  don’t tear it down like they’ve done other historic buildings downtown.

Your musical moment to help digest this post is provided by FORQ (yep it’s pronounced fork). The track is titled THE HARD WAY from their self-titled album.

… on… signs of autumn….

No Access

Leaves are Falling

Swimsuits exchanged for flannels

Signs of Autumn

I’ve been a fan of composer, musician Jia Peng Fang (Chinese: 賈鵬芳)
for years. He’s from China and plays a traditional folk instrument called the Erhu (Chinese: 二胡). I find the mournful sound soothing as the Summer drifts quietly and slowly into the sunset and Autumn rises in the cool crisp morning. May this new season bring many blessings to all who read this.

http://www.jia-pengfang.com

***fyi – Artist website is very interesting with great pictures, videos etc –  but only language options are Chinese or Japanese – however, you don’t need to understand the spoke/written language to understand the language of beautiful music – so check it out. 

… on… my town…

Some new images of my town…. to start the year…

… on creatures in the emotional stratosphere…

We are NOT alone…. even when we think we are someone or something is watching…. get used to it….

River On The Rocks #4Roots Monster

a fitting soundtrack – STRATOSFEAR from the eponymous album by Tangerine Dream. Still one of my favorite TD albums.

…on right left, left right…

Where do you stand? To the left of things or to the right?
I came across this sign while exiting a parking deck(car park). What the signs didn’t tell me is that if I turn right I would only lead to a dead-end and no real exit. I got to thinking about that: Isn’t that the way of the “far right” – always leads to a dead end? So, I think it’s best to be left of center. I have leftist leanings – truth. “You can find me, left of center…”

Story Of Our Lives #46

…on football…

Okay so this is indirectly about football.  No footballs were abused, hurt or damaged for this presentation.

This location in Akron, Ohio USA is called The Rubber Bowl.  It was the football stadium for the University of Akron.  Seating 7,000 souls this stadium was built in 1940 into a hillside – right next to Derby Downs (home of the acclaimed Soap Box Derby World Finals).   This stadium was in use until 2008.  There are rumors and speculations about reviving the stadium and while some events had been planned for here as recently as 2015 they have all been cancelled due to concerns about the condition and safety of this space.

The University of Akron team is known as AKRON ZIPS.  Their mascot is a kangaroo named Zippy which in 2007 won the national competition as MASCOT OF THE YEAR.   Nicknamed the “ROO” you can often see in advertisements and slogans like “Fear The ROO”.

Where did the ZIPS get their name?  Akron was, in it’s heyday, the undisputed “RUBBER CAPITAL OF THE WORLD” as it was home to the largest rubber tire manufacturers; Goodyear, B.F. Goodrich and Firestone.   B.F. Goodrich company also dabbled in side product lines like rubber footwear.  Those footwear lines were known as Goodrich Zippers (sometimes advertised as ZIPPS).  There was a zipper on the top of the shoe/overshoe instead of laces or straps.  There was also supposedly a tire line called zippers by that same company although I have found no evidence for it at this time.   When the University of Akron was searching for a name, in 1927, for their sports teams the name Zippers was proposed – inspired by the footwear line by B.F. Goodrich – and it stuck.  In 1950 it was shortened to ZIPS by the Athletic Director for the University.

A personal connection:  I played (alternately) trumpet and tuba in my high school marching band.  During my junior and senior year (Fall 1976 – Spring 1978) in high school our band traveled to the Rubber Bowl for a regional marching band competition.  This usually happened in the spring.   While we never won – I did come away with a fierce impression of this place being extremely windy and cold.   The day I took this photos (May 15, 2016) was no exception.  In fact, we actually had snow later in the day with temps in the mid/low 30’s F.    The day of this post is a different matter entirely.  Since May 27th we have had temps in the high 80’s F.

***The two previous posts featured some of the graffiti currently found in this location.


… on “thin ice”…

As many of you know visually, I “see” in abstract.   It’s just the way my mind works.  Some people see gorgeous sweeping mind altering landscapes but I like to get to the “nitty-gritty” of things.   Looking at the common in a way that makes people stop, question, and consider what they are looking at and how they feel about it.

Abstraction is often confused with surrealism but it is not the same thing.  Surrealism, in my opinion has more to do with pictorialism.  Surrealism shows easily recognizable things in fantastical setting[s] setting up uncommon and at times illogical relationships.  Abstraction on the other hand tends to zoom in on details to the point that the viewer is not sure what they are looking at.  It purposefully alters either in presentation, or creative manipulates the subject to the point of no return focusing on shapes, lines, patterns and spaces which results in more of an emotional/psychological connection for the viewer.  Even if the viewer dismisses the work as balderdash, crap, f’d up, worthless, pointless, etc,  they still have had an emotional response to the work.

The two series I am posting today are examples of my abstract way of seeing nature.  This latest project focuses on images from a frozen lake.  This first series involves subtle manipulation of the image by increasing contrast, desaturating color etc.  It consists of 6 images simply titled Lake Ice #1 – #6.

The second series is the result of trying to figure out what to do with the “bad photos” from that frozen adventure.  I always try to salvage my so-called bad images.  And that salvage process usually involves manipulating them to the point of oblivion.  This series is titled LAKE ICE EXTREME #1-#9 and tells us some valuable things.

  1. There are more “bad” photos than good ones (that’s why there’s 9 in this series and only 6 in the previous series.)

  2. The acronym for this series is L.I.E.  which basically says that what you are looking at is a lie of the mind caused by extreme manipulation of crop, color and exposure.

  3. While you may not recognize what you are seeing; I think we need to ask ourselves, “What is missing?”, “Does what’s missing matter?”, “Out of sight, out of mind?”, and “How does this increase or change our understanding of nature and the world around us?”  And those are questions each individual has to answer for themselves.

  4. Other considerations are “Why square?” – I was able to crop out a lot of the unmanageable parts of the image and the square crop helps us center our focus (in this instance).

  5. Color is a tricky thing.  If I’d left it natural they all would have been a dirty blue with some brownish tones and white.  When I decided to change the color to make the image a little more disorienting  I was surprised to find that each individual image had its color preference.  For example if the image is green (as in #) it’s because that’s the only color that “felt” right.  Honestly the red/purple/blue/yellow options just didn’t fit.   I always find it amazing how once you get started  the artwork seems to dictate it’s own color palette.   I’m curious if painters and other artists feel the same.

  6. I also envision these 9 images displayed together in the following configuration.

    (you can “right click” then open in a “new tab” to view larger versions of individual images for more details.)

This morning…

7AM ONE JUNE MORNING

The muffled sun
A quiet hum of tires on pavement
Sleepy twittering of the waking sparrow
Mournful train whistle in the distance
And Discreet Music by Brian Eno on the stereo.
The day comes alive in the city.

My City

st. bernards no more
I actually went out with my camera again. It’s been quite a while since I went in search of interesting places and spaces. I am amazed at how readily my city tears itself down in ongoing urbacide (urban suicide). There are more real estate signs on vacant lots than I could ever hope to imagine. It seemed sad to remember the places that stood in those empty lots and how all that may remain is someone’s fading photograph. There is a feeling of security in seeing familiar buildings that still stand – a bit like seeing an old friend.  And when those buildings are preserved and reused – all the better.  But too often they are torn down and just an empty space is left.  People don’t want to invest in what was.   What was, is too often viewed as an eyesore, an ugliness, or too costly and is removed – often with the excuse of safety concerns or in the name of progress; when this happens it not only changes the skyline of the city but also the skyline of the cities soul.  Something is missing.   When I got home I wrote this,

HOLES IN MY CITY
There are holes in my city
where buildings used to stand.

Empty spaces are all that remain
where factories made my world.

A dream that never was
cannot be remembered or built upon.

There is no foundation
there is only dust and wind.

Remembrance is only a delusion
sickness of mind and soul
for a community that is trapped
in its struggle to free itself from nothing.

There are holes in my city
where buildings used to stand.

Places where people lived
where the voices of children could be heard.

Now there is silence
even the ghosts don’t linger here.

Some say silence is golden
but the same silence can drive a person mad.

There are holes…

*note – the photo in this post features what used to be St. Bernard’s School. A wonderful stone and brick structure that was originally build in 1887 and was one of the oldest buildings in Akron. Demolition began on 3/28/14. Another hole has been made.

A Culture of Victimization

(fyi- this is a re-post from my previous blog in August, 2012.)
Scene from THE CROW “Victims, aren’t we all….”

I’ve been thinking about the things that put me “around the bend” regarding the institutions of the church. First of all I don’t believe the Church was ever meant to be an institution. It was just a label given to groups of people who got together from time to time.

The scene above from the excellent film, THE CROW, is a modern parable. A parable on the consequences of viewing ourselves, our churches, our religion, our culture as victims. When we view ourselves as victims we will only know violence, hatred and revenge. I’ve often told people, I am not and never will be a victim. That does not mean that others won’t try to make me a victim or victimize me in some way. But I choose to never see myself as a victim. That’s doesn’t mean my life is any easier. In fact, because of my choices, my life is at times more difficult than what it may need to be (I’ve been told more than once to just “play the game”).

This does not seem to be the case for the Church/institutional Christianity. It seems that the “church” everywhere is embracing victimization. For further proof one only needs to look at the elaborate security systems churches have in an effort to protect their investment. And that may be part of the problem. The investment for the church has become something other than the people who make up the church. Fund raising is used to prop up the institution. The Church has entered the realm of monument building. And it will do everything it can to defend and prop up it’s monuments. In short Churches have become “Like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.” (Matthew 23:27) Everywhere we turn the so-called Church is on the attack. Defending it’s turf, complaining about its circumstances, and seeking anti-christian (legal/political) means of resolving it’s conflicts has become habitual behavior. In this age when the media is filled with stories of hate-crimes against different religions it is easy fall into the trap of victimization.

Why is victimization a trap? As soon as someone sees themselves as a victim they have already decided to react by complaining about their situation, lashing out, placing blame, even attacking the perceived cause/source of victimization. It’s done in the name of defending themselves. This is a very unhealthy and unproductive mindset. Sadly this is especially true in America since 9/11. Gun sales have risen sharply since that time. Sadly many of these buyers claim to be Christian. I know of people who try their best to use different bible passages to justify taking up arms (always out of context for self-justification). I know of one Christian who recently bought a gun in the name of defending his family. He sees himself as a minister of the gospel. But I ask what precedent does this set for your children? What example does that give to others? How does this even coincide with Jesus’ teaching – which you claim to follow? In fear, we already see ourselves as victims. When we are afraid we make unhealthy choices not only for ourselves but also for those around us who we may claim to be protecting. We become slaves to that fear of victimization. The result is we victimize ourselves. Sadly this has permeated the so-called church. We have applied this mindset to our beliefs – in spite of the actual teachings of the Source of the faith.

When we claim that we, our church and/or our religion are victims we are in bondage. We are trapped by our thinking. We have stopped promoting a gospel of love and freedom. We create and defend a gospel of bondage. We have created our own chains. Is it any wonder that Christianity has such a bad name today? Is it any wonder that church institutional membership is declining? Who wants to be in bondage? Not me! Jesus came to set people free from the very things that the church is doing.

Where I grew up and where I live there’s a lot of talk about being a “slave to Christ”, “in bondage to Christ”. Now the church has taken some archaic language in the bible and twisted it to support its gospel of bondage. As is surrendering one’s rights to the church has something to do with being Christian. It doesn’t. First of all slavery should never be promoted. If a person chooses to enslave themselves that is their choice. When the Bible is talking about being a “slave to Christ” it is not talking literally but metaphorically. It is about aligning oneself to the teachings of Christ and making every effort to live them in daily life and not give up trying even though one fails. That’s different from giving in to institution demand and mindset to defend the faith – as if faith was something to defend. This has given rise to an increase in Christian Apologetics. Genuine faith cannot be defended – it can only be lived.

Now, I want to be clear – I’ve NEVER heard a church or Christian say, “We are victims”. But a person doesn’t need to say it in words. As I’ve suggested all along – it’s in our attitudes/mindsets and our actions. Look at the Christians (whether Orthodox, Evangelical, Protestant, Catholic, etc) who seek to punish those they perceive are criminals (criminals being; those that object to, criticize, ridicule, distort and slander a person’s faith or religion in word and/or action) And this they apply to the arts, politics, science, education, lifestyles and other religions/belief systems. What has happened is that the Church has come to see itself as separate from humanity and not a part of it. This separation has had dire consequences. It is “Us vs. Them”. The church does not promote unity, healing, love among humanity but is a source of division. It not only puts one on the defensive but it becomes justification to attack and is used as a reason to go out and proselytize others in an effort to “bring them into the fold.” Instead of Christianity’s institutional leaders directing the path taught by Christ, this thinking is supported and encouraged. It is even applied to the institutions themselves – thus the evolution of the Gospel of Bondage.

This is inappropriate and was NEVER supported by Jesus. And that’s part of the problem. Jesus is being taught as the Messiah, that Savior of Humanity that did a lot of cool things and told some cool stories. But by-and-large the Church has stopped investigating his teachings. People use other scriptures out of context to justify their actions, thoughts and lives without testing them against what Christ taught. But if it doesn’t align with what Christ taught it is anti-christian.

So how should we then live? If we are Christians we need to re-investigate Jesus actual teachings and seek every effort to apply them to our lives. Teachings like forgiveness, love, compassion, mercy, caring for ALL people (not just those of our own faith or those who agree with us). When we can do this for people who are against us we no longer see them as separate from but actually a part of the big picture – a part of God’s creation – a part of the human family. We need to understand what he taught about the kingdom of heaven and what it means for us today.

We each have our function and purpose on this earth. We are part of one existence. Part of the God-consciousness itself. Each of us may be a different part of the body (i.e. someone may be a hand, foot, eye etc) but we can’t survive without each other. In fact we need each other. But If we reject others for their beliefs, actions, etc we are actually rejecting a part of the body that we are a part of. When this happens we are slowly killing ourselves by self decapitation. Have you ever seen a decapitation that was a good thing? Decapitation is ALWAYS violent and ugly.

A personal story:
I work in the Customer Service industry. No, not retail, not something that glamorous. I actually work the phones for a utility company. That means that I have the opportunity to be verbally attacked and even threatened – and it does happen from time to time. When I started this job (nearly 5 years ago) I literally had no idea what this would be like. Naturally at first I was on the defensive and it seemed that almost every call was a personal attack. And it’s hard not to feel that way when you are being verbally attacked or having your life or family threatened. Add to that we have a changing work-place environment based on the changing economy that adds challenges to the relationships I have with co-workers and supervisors. This all adds up to one stressful day. I tend to be more emotional anyway so dealing with these things are very difficult at times because it is my nature to react emotionally first and intellectually second. I am getting better at taking a moment (a breath, a pause, a heartbeat) to step back from the situation. But my growth and change has not been easy. I don’t think it’s supposed to be easy. But I view it as necessary. I keep a phrase by my computer that I look at quite often to remind me. It is simply, “Like water off a ducks back, let it roll over me.” The next step was to, as I’ve been talking about, viewing these people I deal with not just as “callers” or “co-worker’s” or “management” but as part of the human body – my body. It is a real game changer to think in this way. I can say that the outcome of my calls has been significantly different from when I started with this company. I still have a long way to go but I at least feel that I am on the right path. But again, it all comes down to the fact that at some point I decided NOT to be a victim or victimize others by being defensive.

We need to diminish our conflicts and differences not escalate them. It’s a choice. The choices we make now not only affect our actions but the actions of others both now and in the future. If we choose to perceive ourselves, our churches, our religion as victims we are making a very dangerous choice with dire consequences, both short-term and long-term. So don’t ever call me a victim. I am not and never will be a victim no matter what happens to me in this life. And it feels so good to say that. 🙂

Scene from DANGEROUS MINDS – “Choice”

Music today by Canadian musician Bruce Cockburn – GOSPEL OF BONDAGE

From the album ‘Big Circumstance’ (1989).
GOSPEL OF BONDAGE by BRUCE COCKBURN

Tabloids, bellowing raw delight
Hail the return of the Teutonic Knights
Inbred for purity and spoiling for a fight,
Another little puppet of the New Right

See-through dollars and mystery plagues
Varied detritus of Aquarian Age
Shutters on storefronts and shutters in the mind –
We kill ourselves to keep ourselves safe from crime.
That’s the gospel of bondage…

We’re so afraid of disorder we make it into a god
We can only placate with state security laws
Whose church consists of secret courts and wiretaps and shocks
Whose priests hold smoking guns, and whose sign is the double cross

But God must be on the side of the side that’s right
And not the right that justifies itself in terms of might –
Least of all a bunch of neo-nazis running hooded through the night
Which may be why He’s so conspicuously out of sight
Of the gospel of bondage…

You read the Bible in your special ways
You’re fond of quoting certain things it says –
Mouth full of righteousness and wrath from above
But when do we hear about forgiveness and love?

Sometimes you can hear the Spirit whispering to you,
But if God stays silent, what else can you do
Except listen to the silence? if you ever did you’d surely see
That God won’t be reduced to an ideology
Such as the gospel of bondage…