Over the years I’ve heard so many people talk about vacations. The build-up and anticipation of a vacation, the vacation itself, and the return (from). My imagination is startled how the vast majority of people really don’t understand vacation at all. For most it is simply an escape from the routines of daily life. A vacating of the premises of daily routine. But is that all there is?
I ask that question because have you ever noticed how people talk about the actual “vacation” and how they feel when they return from vacation? My observations conclude that people merely replace one itinerary with another. The time away from routine is another schedule that must be filled and every moment of that schedule occupied by doing this, that or the other. In fact they are so busy on vacation that when they come back – the vast majority of the time – they talk about it in terms of how they might define work and their daily routines. In fact most people over-work themselves on their vacation and they end up coming back to work, to the daily routine exhausted. They vacated one routine and replaced it with another more itinerant time-filler. What’s missing? What’s wrong?
People miss the one important thing of a vacation. They forgot about the vacant. The emptiness. The space to breathe and just be. The space to sit, relax and re-energize. Finding that vacancy in vacation is the key to a true vacation.
When one finds this vacant space they can then actually find ways to incorporate it in their daily routine for mini-vacations. My daily lunch time is a mini vacation for me. Most people eat their lunches in the workplace and in America many corporations have “working lunches” while people have their mid-day repast while they work. In fact at the company I work for they will frequently provide food to make this more attractive and people buy into it because all they think of is “free food” instead of the break from work they are entitled to. My lunch break is only 1/2 hr long yet it allows me time to decompress, regroup, relax and re-energize for what’s to come for the rest of my shift. How do I do it? There is a small park about a 5 minute drive from work. I drive to the park. Sit in silence, eat my sandwich or cup of yogurt – whatever I’ve packed for that day – I round it out by closing my eyes for about 5 minutes before I head back to work. I have a solid 15 minutes of peace, quiet and “escape” from the daily work routine. It really is quite marvelous. Of course there are those odd days where I’m required to be in a meeting that has a working lunch but fortunately those are few. A vast majority of the time I am able to experience some vacancy during my lunch break.
These are things I learned over the years. My vacations from work (whether a week, a day or an hour) are wonderful vacant spaces that I purposely try not to fill. Sure I do some activity, I’m not just “bump on a log” but again the key is not to crowd out your time with activity but to maybe have an idea and then let it evolve. And ultimately having to freedom to change your mind and cancel an activity.
One of my favorite films is Les Vacances de M. Hulot (Mr Hulot’s Holiday) This extremely short clip shows a pair of my favorite characters in the film. An older couple who just meander and amble through the film not really doing anything. Yet their vacation is truly a vacancy an itinerary that is empty yet fully experienced. Enjoy. And if you get a chance watch the whole film because it contrasts both notions of vacation: those who are concerned with over-occupying their time and those who are genuinely experiencing the “vacant”.
Who co-opted our values
Who changed the primary meaning of the word
Who dared to stare at the face of God
and say, “Who are you?”
and, “How much?”
When did values change to only mean
deal
sale
cheap
bargain
When did the noun co-opt the verb
Will we ever be able to recover
prize
cherish
appreciate
those things
which cannot be defined
by material value
Maybe some day
it will be an innocent child
who recovers the truth
and once again
focuses and directs
away from materialism
the values of humanity
breathing new life
into old meanings
So last week I went to the greeting card store to purchase a fathers day card.
Scccrreeeeeech (sound of needle being dragged across vinyl) For those who are familiar with my work you may ask, “Why not just make him one of your own artwork?” Well the simple answer is that he doesn’t care for my work. Which is fine. Different strokes for different folks.
Now, on with the story.
If you are in America there is nothing more cliche than holidays, which is why I loathe them so much. The best thing about (most) holidays is that it just means I don’t have to go to work that day.
But everything else is pure cliche and pablum.
Father’s Day is no different. When shopping for a Fathers Day card and this is echoed in news stories and media coverage, you will find everything narrowed down to the following 5 subjects many of which are combined in some sort of competition:
(humorous) Grilling
(humorous) Sports (fishing, golfing etc)
(humorous) Power Tools
(humorous) traditional gifts satire (tie, socks etc)
(serious) Thank you/Religious/Inspirational
Now this is just extremely disappointing, frustrating and maddening. I think the greeting card industry should be boycotted for all the garbage it sells. On top of that every news program has some sort of Father’s Day “gift list” which includes gifts of/related to …you guessed it… grilling, sports & power tools.
Of course it’s even sadder that almost no one questions this stuff – it’s just accepted blindly as the norm. So, goodbye individual expression and creativity. Out the window and down the garbage disposal. Father’s Day is just another holiday to loathe.
So what kind of card did I end up with? A sound gadget grilling card. The front states, “I’d like to give you a big grilled steak for Father’s Day” and when you open it up you see the picture of a cow (that actually mooo’s) and the words, “It just isn’t cooked yet”
A photo-based digital creation.
Asking & Hearing – posted as a tribute to the late Ornate Coleman 9 Mar 1930 – 11 Jun 2015.
Cheers to the man who showed us “THE SHAPE OF JAZZ TO COME”. He also taught us that the “CHANGE OF THE CENTURY” would affirm “WHEN TOMORROW IS THE QUESTION!” and answer “FREE JAZZ” and involve “THE ART OF THE IMPROVISERS”. Right up to the end he espoused “THE NEW VOCABULARY.” Thank you for teaching us the “DANCING IN YOUR HEAD” and opening our eyes and ears to all of life’s possibilities “IN ALL LANGUAGES”.
“The idea is that two or three people can have a conversation with sounds, without trying to dominate it or lead it,” Coleman said in a 1997 interview with the French philosopher Jacques Derrida.
“What I mean is that you have to be — intelligent,” he said.
“I think the musicians are trying to reassemble an emotional or intellectual puzzle, in any case a puzzle in which the instruments give the tone.”
He had a notorious relationship with music labels. His groundbreaking works were considered on the cutting edge and he had little patience for the industry’s business side. “I’ve never had a relationship with a record executive. I always went to the record company (because of) someone that liked my playing. Then they would get fired, and I’d be left with the record company,” Coleman told Cadence Magazine in 1995.
The dance of life…loss… and the life that remains.
…the dance goes on….
A beautiful song and video.
Enjoy by “ABOVE THE CLOUDS OF POMPEII” BY BEARS DEN
…of course… what did you expect?…It seems that whenever I start making lists…I can’t help but incorporating the items on the list into images. So far in this series I have about thirty items on the list (only twenty which I’ve posted on this blog). So it seemed natural to start creating backgrounds for these “sayings”.
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I am planning on publishing these in book form late 2016 after I get the images completed.
I even have a tentative book cover for the new book. The color for this cover was deliberately kept in the gray tones. It is inspired by a quote from a Greek artist;
“GREY IS THE COLOR OF OUR TIME”
~ JANNIS KOUNELLIS
…and now the continuing list of…TRUISMS FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM.
Common sense is now uncommon.
Theft is merely another form of financial management
and economic opportunity.
Weakness is celebrated more than strength
Conscience is optional
In a world of competing priorities
Everything is URGENT!
You must TAKE rest,
Rest will not be given to you
Emancipate the silence!
More sight, less thought
Nature WILL BE the last terrorist
[and nature ALWAYS wins!]
Values
stated, re-stated,
and re-stated yet again;
need not be
practiced.
Options are valued
more than wise choices
******************************************
This is from an ongoing list of trends in behavior and values observed in the new millennium.
The first part of this list was posted on this blog March 5,2015 and like the previous list…
…to be continued….
I don’t know why but this morning I wrote in my journal some thoughts about dying. Thinking about how we as survivors sometimes make dying so difficult for those who ARE dying. And I wonder if technology is not causing more suffering in our ability to hold on to the dying for longer periods of time – in essence, not allowing them to be free.
When we die:
It’s not important what we believe when we die. It is important that we are at peace with what we believe.
If we doubt our belief, death can be a time of great suffering. And survivors are often keen on making sure the dying person believes the same as they believe – so the survivors may be at peace. But that is incredibly selfish and foolish. At time of death, it is the survivors responsibility to make sure he dying person is peace with their own beliefs – their own mind. It needs to be ALL ABOUT the dying person – not the survivor.
How do we, as survivors, smooth the way for those who are dying? How do we smooth the way to pass from this life to the next – or from one state of being to the next? Do we make it easier to slip out of this mortal coil – to free the spirit? Or, does our own suffering take precedence over the person who is dying?
Do we use technology to hold on those who are dying? If we tell doctors to do, “everything within their power” to ease the physical suffering of the individual does that just provide an illusion for the survivor that the dying person is at peace? Is medicine and technology always the best answer? Who ultimately benefits from medicine and technology – the survivor or the dying?
Death is about letting go for those who are dying and for the survivors. Here are some great thoughts on letting go and learning to let go.
One of my favorite artists. Enjoy The Divine Comedy’s LEAVING TODAY. A very poignant song considering the subject of today’s post. Listen to the lyrics as if it is a dying person saying goodbye.
and after the goodbyes have been said….TONIGHT WE FLY….the spirit of the dead survives and can be celebrated by the living in new appreciation of the life that was and the life that remains.
A great lecture. I’ve been a fan of Naomi Klein ever since her books NO LOGO and SHOCK DOCTRINE. This lecture, based on her new book, soon to be a feature documentary film, called THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING. I have to admit that when she talks about fossil fuel companies that I actually work for one of those companies. But our company is exploring wind, biomass, water and solar energy and recently purchased a large Utah – based solar energy generation facility and is adding solar-powered projects. Is the change happening fast enough? Probably not because here in the US there is still little political will and even outright denial that the environment is a concern of the “fringe elements”(i.e. minority) of the population. So without further a-doo I hope you enjoy this lecture by Naomi Klein.
(feel free to skip past the first 5 minutes of introductions).
Has anyone stopped to think that this is exactly what Terrorists want?
Polarization
Solidification
Determination
Reactionary rigidity
A fight
Terrorism CANNOT be prevented
Terrorism CANNOT be fought
Terrorism CANNOT win
Terrorism CAN BE overcome!
Sure people who commit criminal acts should be prosecuted.
But to increase military, police, surveillance is counter-productive.
Profiling an entire group of people under suspicion for the acts of a few is very Hitlerian.
A totalitarian state is what the Terrorists want. Don’t give in to totalitarianism in the name of security.
There is no security in life.
Our politicians, political, military and law enforcement leaders need to completely rethink their
approaches to so-called terrorism.
We need to also ask ourselves about media reporting of these events? Is there bias? How does the media use language that generalizes and therefore seems to implicate a larger group which then seems to make the problem larger than it is?
The biggest problem is that people try to understand (and fight) terrorism as if it were some sort of war between states. But terrorism (as it has come to be known) is nothing more than the criminal acts of a few individuals.
Terrorism by its nature cannot be predicted.
If you try to predict terrorism you end up with a society where people are convicted of crimes before a crime is created. We are getting closer and closer as a society to what sci-fi writer Philip K. Dick called “thought crime” in his excellent story, MINORITY REPORT (also a good movie).
How is terrorism overcome?
I think the best advice (which should be used by politicians, military, law enforcement and prison officials) comes from someone who lived a couple thousand years ago.
“You have heard that our fathers were told, ‘Eye for eye and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you not to stand up against someone who does you wrong. On the contrary, if someone hits you on the right cheek, let him hit you on the left cheek too! If someone wants to sue you for your shirt, let him have your coat as well! And if a soldier forces you to carry his pack for one mile, carry it for two! When someone asks you for something, give it to him; when someone wants to borrow something from you, lend it to him.
“You have heard that our fathers were told, ‘Love your neighbor — and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! Then you will become children of your Father in heaven. For he makes his sun shine on good and bad people alike, and he sends rain to the righteous and the unrighteous alike. What reward do you get if you love only those who love you? ~ Jesus, The Christ (Matthew 5:38-46)
That will be the way terrorism is overcome. Again, terrorism will happen – it cannot be prevented but it can be overcome.
MESSAGES FROM THE FUTURE #42
I’M YOUR HOPE
WHAT YOU’VE BECOME
Sure, everyone is praying for the “victims” which is good. But what about the boys who committed these crimes? Are you praying for them to or do you just think they “should get what’s coming to them”.
I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE you pray FOR the boys who committed these crimes.
Don’t pray about them, pray FOR them.
That we CAN have a relationship directly with you.
In this way he was the door, the gate,
Through which your spirit that dwells within us
Has been awakened.
We thank you for this awakening that removes all Hindrance
Even if that separation is political, social, religious
And now we thank you for this meal
And time of togetherness between family and friends
We bless this meal in the name of Jesus
That it may give us physical strength and stamina
We bless you that you may give us the mental and spiritual strength and stamina
To be a blessing to others we come in contact with;
Removing all wrong perceptions
In Jesus name, Amen.
I believe the best prayers are not prayers of thanks and requests (or to use consumerism terms – supply and demand). The best prayers are when we pray what we believe – not what we want or hope for. For example when we pray the Lords prayer do we hope these things are true that are mentioned OR do we really believe them? And how do we believe them?
Maybe some day I’ll dissect and expound on the Lords prayer specifically.
But for now – Merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy one of my favorite Christmas songs.
“Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” ~ Jesus [Matthew 7:3-5 NASB]
I’ve been trying to get the logs out of my own eyes for years – and will probably keep working on it for the rest of my life. It’s funny how easily our perceptions are blocked [log-jammed] and muddied by emotions. Emotions are a fact of being human – and self-control of those emotions is key. I find it interesting that one of the characteristics of “love” in the Bible is “self-control” but that characteristic is seldom preached – maybe because it’s difficult to look at oneself with the critical eye of awareness. Many people seek to control others and define their happiness in that context.
I’ve read a lot of wisdom literature over the years and have found (even in my own experience) that happiness is fleeting. Happiness is fickle. Happiness is something people constantly strive for only to see it slip through their fingers like sand. So what do we do when we aren’t happy? If we are seldom happy is that a bad thing? How do we cope, or what emotion is happiness replaced with when it skips merrily on its way?
I have found that happiness is the wrong thing to focus on (contrary to what all those self-help gurus say) When we are happy we naturally relax and enjoy the moment. But once it’s gone we immediately try to re-capture, control, and try to manipulate external circumstances to get back to that happiness state. Many people, unfortunately, despair and long for past happiness (“I remember when….”). But this is the mistake.
THE DREAM:
On September 29, 2014 I woke up early from a dream I had. I wrote the dream in my journal. I thought I knew what it meant – turns out it has multiple applications (for me). Now for the dream:
In my dream I was fighting a fierce dragon. It was boastful, conniving, cruel and threatening. I only had a sword. The dragon didn’t have to move around a lot. It was so much bigger than me it just seemed to mock me as I searched for its weak point. The dragon started to yawn and I seized the moment to go for the mouth. With one eye open the beast snapped its jaws down on my sword and with iron like strength just held on. I couldn’t move that sword no matter how hard I tried. I wasn’t going to let go either because the sword was my only weapon. We were at stalemate. Neither one willing to budge. I decided that instead of pulling the sword out – an impossible task – I would try the opposite and push it further in. I pushed with all my might and with a snicker the dragon opened it’s jaws wide and I went tumbling into its mouth. With one self-satisfied gulp the beast swallowed me. Inside I could hear echoes of its satisfied, mocking laughter. It all happened so fast, and caught me by surprise. I was tumbling down its steamy, moist throat just trying to get my bearings on the long journey despairing of my loss and my situation. I came to an opening which I presumed to be the dragons stomach and expected to be digested and totally consumed. Instead I noticed in this opening, fresh air, a breeze, sunshine the sound of birds and children laughing. It was a whole other universe. Familiar yet different. I saw clear skies and saw people enjoying themselves just like the world I had come from. It was magical and different – somehow better. I just stood in wonder and amazement asking myself who had really won – the dragon or myself and its other victims?
LOST HAPPINESS:
So what do you do when happiness is gone? What is the cause of your unhappiness? What emotions replace happiness? Anger, envy, jealousy, bitterness, fear, hatred or despair? Maybe it’s a combination of these emotions. How do you deal with these darker emotions? I recently (again) have lost my happiness at work. In fact I would say I hate my job. It is not the job I was hired to do. And after some corporate restructuring things seem to have gone “haywire” and all akimbo. I’ve dreaded going to work and have been stressed, frustrated and angry. So I have some decisions to make. Do I look at the situation and blame management, the union, or other people for the loss of my happiness? Or, do I look at myself? Do I look at my blocked perception and try to “fix” myself instead of something I can’t possibly win against?
On November 14, 2014 I wrote in my journal:
All things come to an end. But when one thing ends another begins. Happiness never lasts forever. When happiness is gone, what replaces it? Is the thing that replaces happiness worse than the thing that displaced happiness in the first place? I’ve been fortunate to know happiness in the past. Now that happiness is gone – do I get to choose what replaces it?
Initially I interpreted the dream as: whether I am facing an enemy or adversity I will remember the dragon. Because whether I fight or surrender the outcome is the same. One life is merely changed for another. I live on either way.
And I keep a small note on my computer monitor at work now with the words “remember the dragon.” This has helped in my work situation. I can see that the dragon is my work environment. And since I’m in the belly of the beast It may not be as bad as I thought. This interpretations definitely works on one level but I came to realize some other things.
With my understanding of the dream and recent questions of happiness I started asking questions about the perceived source of my unhappiness. The questions themselves began to evolve.
Do I need to look for another job? Yes. What will I do? At 54 I don’t even know anymore. There’s nothing I “want” to do. Nothing I need to prove anymore. What kind of work can I do? Same as above Can I do the job I have now? Absolutely! Is there benefit to the job I have now? Yes, I can eat and pay bills. What would the consequences be for taking another job with another company? Answer: most likely, based on past experience, starting at lower pay than I’m making now and eventual dis-satisfaction. Do I need to look for another job? No
When I was in my teens, 20’s and even my 30’s I thought I could, would and wanted to change the world. Now that I’m in my mid 50’s I realize I can only change myself. Change my perceptions. It’s been a long difficult road and I’m sorry for any harm I’ve done along the way.
So, back to work. When I realized I didn’t need to look for another job the next task became – how to survive my current work situation. I remembered that happiness is fleeting. Happiness is not a requirement and need not be a benefit of doing a good job. There will always be times I hate my job. And having “processed” all this before I went to work yesterday – it changed my whole day. Work was the same, all haywire and akimbo but I had changed. I was less stressed and when things were “thrown at me” (figurative) I may have been frustrated or even angry but I quickly got over it and moved on. I stopped seeing the company, management, union, co-workers as those who were making my life miserable. And realized they were just doing their job with their own frustrations, stress etc. It was all ‘n all a good day which is about all I can hope for until happiness returns. Just being less stressed made such a HUGE difference. I’m not perfect so I suspect on Monday I’ll have to remind myself again about this lesson.
CONCLUSION:
While happiness seems to have escaped me and things may not be pleasant right now – the good news is, I believe that happiness, being fickle, will return. And I will enjoy it when it does. In the meantime I know that I can be less stressed, less angry, less frustrated, less fearful, less hateful and more tolerant at work. While I may have removed only a “splinter” from my own perceptions – there are plenty of logs (wrong perceptions) left for me to work on. All by the grace of God.
Thanks for reading. I hope it may benefit someone.
I just heard this new song called LEARN IT ALL AGAIN TOMORROW by Ben and his mother Ellen Harper. It is from a new folk music album they recorded together titled Childhood Home.
This song reminds me about how many times I’ve had to re-learn the lessons in life – how often I’ve had to “learn it all again tomorrow”. Lessons in decency, kindness, compassion & understanding. The lessons may be spiritual, mental, behavioral or physical. The physical lessons are the ones we easily remember and are able to advance from – for example, walking. Once you learn how to walk you don’t need to relearn (unless some medical reason or accident forces you to). Muscle memory allows you to continue walking without thinking about it. You can then “mature” and learn something new or move to the next level by learning jogging and running. Even spiritual lessons tend to be more knowledge based and once that knowledge is gained it is not necessary to relearn the same thing. But behavioral/mental lessons are a whole different ballgame because they deal with behaviors and being in a way that requires flexibility. Each situation is different and each individual is different so flexibility is the key and this is why we often have to relearn the same lessons in different situations.
The bad and the beautiful:
So many people think of themselves as deeply flawed for having to relearn life’s lessons. Or as many Christians would say, “It’s because we are born sinners”. But I would like to point out that no one is a “born sinner” our weaknesses of character, and bad behaviors are learned/nurtured from our culture and surroundings. And many people go on acting as they’ve always acted – badly – without any recognition or thought of “Why do I…?” or “Should I…?”
Once a lesson is learned you will be “doing” what you’re supposed to be doing. You will have an awareness, or what Buddhists call Mindfulness, about yourself and others and be able to respond appropriately – if not initially; then, as a corrective measure – Whether it is compassion, understanding, peace-making, tolerance, etc – you will be doing it and others will learn from your example. They will see the change in you.
***************
Here’s the good news. We should not think badly of ourselves for having to relearn life’s lessons as new situations arise. You and I are not bad, flawed or weak for having to relearn things like compassion, decency, respect, etc. When you were formed/created/born – just like the story of creation in the Bible – God said, “It is good.” You were born innocent and good. That innocence and goodness still resides within you and me. We should be grateful for the opportunities we have to relearn those lessons we need in order to be more adaptable. I am. It isn’t easy because whenever we interact with someone new their responses will be different so we will have a new opportunity to relearn a positive way interact with (and react to) them.
Sometimes I think I know what I’m doing when I don’t. Another lesson is how to maintain a positive attitude when the unexpected happens.
The weather was beautiful today. Temperatures in the mid to upper 70’s, no humidity, a warm breeze and sunshine. I’ve been on “vacation” all week and have spent most of it just doing some major spring cleaning around the apartment. Today on the spur-of-the-moment I decided to take a canoe ride. Now, the last time I went for a canoe ride was probably 35 yrs ago when I went with the youth group of the church I was attending at that time. When I was just a kid I didn’t care about getting wet. But this time I thought hey, I can do a nice leisurely paddle down the river maybe take a few snapshots and just enjoy the beautiful dry day.
All was going well. I thought I knew what I was doing and was managing rather nicely. The river was a little cluttered with fallen trees from past storms so it was a bit like navigating around a maze in places. But not major problem. I thoroughly enjoyed the six-mile trip. I even tested my self by paddling upstream for about 500 yards just to prove I could do it. Of course as I neared the portage site to land the canoe I was feeling rather cocky about staying dry and just having a good time. I was a bit worried about landing because there was no dock just a muddy river bank. I knew that I needed to land a good part of the canoe to avoid tipping. So I made run for the river bank. All went as planned. I managed to get 2/3rds of the canoe on land. I was feeling pretty damn proud of myself. I stood up and went to take a step toward the front of the canoe and promptly lost my balance and fell into the muddy water. I was soaked from head to toe – so was my camera, my money, my wallet, and my ego.
I made the mistake of promptly forgetting that I was sitting in the end of the canoe that was still in the river and should not have stood straight up. Oh well, I just started laughing. It’s good to have my pride shaken once in a while. “Once I was the King of Spain but now I eat humble pie.” [make that mud pie] 🙂
You may have heard the phrase “When life hands you lemons – make lemonade.” I was fortunate to experience this firsthand today. The phrase was first coined by Christian Anarchist Elbert Hubbard in 1915 as part of an obituary he wrote for a friend. The exact phrase was, “…He picked up the lemons that Fate had sent him and started a lemonade-stand.”
So how was I able to do this today? I’ll give you the recipe.
3 Raw lemons = a kitchen sink that started leaking, no experience or knowhow in plumbing, no money to pay a plumber, a landlord that would have to pay a plumber and wouldn’t have it scheduled for a couple of days.
Squeeze the lemons = the stress and pressure of the situation that has interrupted the daily routine and special plans.
Add sugar to taste = found YouTube videos that talked about where leaks occur in sink how to repair different leaks. With a positive mindset determined what I needed and went to the hardware store. I took the part that needed replaced to the hardware store and the employee knew exactly what it was and helped me find it. I have a double sink but only one started to leak. The part that needed replaced was badly corroded on both sides – so I decided to fix both of them.
Stir = Replaced the necessary parts and run water to make sure leaks were stopped.
Pour over ice in a tall glass and enjoy = after repairs were done and all leaks were stopped and future leaks prevented I had a real sense of satisfaction & accomplishment; and I learned how to do something I had never done before. An added bonus was the monetary savings: My cost $5.21 + less than a gallon of gas to get to the hardware store. A plumber would have charged me between $120.00 and $200.00 for doing the same work. The experience – PRICELESS.
🙂
And here is some smooooooth music to enjoy your lemonade by. Enjoy this song, GREEN LEMONADE by Herb Alpert from his 2013 album Steppin’ Out.
Reassurance. We usually get it from people with a similar point of view. People of like-minds. But….
If you want total reassurance that you are correct in your point of view, have a conversation with someone whose is completely opposed to your point of view. I have a friend who has completely opposite viewpoints on, well, just about everything. So how can we be friends you ask? We both enjoy the dialogue. And even though we don’t agree with each other we do respect each others views. Instead of the sycophantic reassurance of like-minded people our reassurance comes from the way we challenge each other which forces us to think about and think through why we believe what we believe. Iron does sharpen iron.
Like the old proverb –
“Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.” ~ Proverbs 27:17
And if you like 70’s era Chicago and Toto then you’ll like this band. Enjoy the song Iron Sharpens Iron by GLAD.
Have you ever been misunderstood, misinterpreted and felt just completely ineffective when you talk. I know I have.
Maybe it’s not what we say but HOW we say it – the words we use to express ourselves.
The video today is for a great girl band called Savages with their song “SHUT UP” from their debut album SILENCE YOURSELF. This group “gets it” Amazing lyrics and the spoken word introduction of the cover poetry is simply amazing!!! There is almost a Taoist feel to this.
Introduction
The world used to be silent
Now it has too many voices
And the noise
Is a constant distraction
They multiply, intensify
They will divert your attention
To What’s convenient
And forget to tell you
About yourself
We live in an age of many stimulations
If you are focused you are harder to reach
If you are distracted
You are available
You are distracted
You are available
You want flattery
Always looking to where it’s at
You want to take part in everything
And everything to be a part of you
Your head is spinning fast
At the end of your spine
Until you have no face at all
And yet
If the world would shut up
Even for a while
Perhaps
We would start hearing
A distant rhythm
Of an angry young tune –
And recompose ourselves
Perhaps
Having deconstructed everything
We should be thinking
Putting everything back together
Silence yourself
SHUT UP
TOO MANY TO CONVINCE
TOO MANY TO HIRE
AND NOTHING YOU EVER OWN
THE WORLD’S A DEAD SORRY HOLE
AND I’M COLD, AND I’M COLD
AND IM COLD, AND I’M STUBBORN
I’M SICK TO KEEP IT OPEN WIDE
AND SPEAKING WORDS TO THE BLIND
SPEAKING WORDS, TO THE BLIND
SPEAKING WORDS, TO THE BLIND
AND THE SOUL OF THE PURE
AND THE EYES OF THE LOVER
AND THE ONE WHO TRULY SAW YOUR SOUL
AND THE ONE WHO TRULY SAW YOUR SOUL
I’M THE ONE, WHO TRULY SAW YOUR SOUL
I’M THE ONE, WHO TRULY SAW YOUR SOUL
AND IF YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP
AND IF YOU TELL ME TO SHUT IT
DID YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP
OH IF YOU TELL ME TO SHUT IT
I’LL SHUT IT NOW
YOUNG, JUST BORN
FRAGILE AND TREMBLING SOUL
YOU HOLD IT TO THE LIGHT
THAT POURS DOWN THE MOON AT NIGHT
YOU KEPT ON HOLDING IT
YOU KEPT ON HOLDING IT
IT WAS A DANGEROUS THING TO DO
BUT YOU DID IT WHEN NO ONE KNEW
WHEN THE EYES WERE CLOSED
AND THE PEOPLE ASLEEP
NOT AN ANIMAL
NOT A HUMAN
NOT A SOUL
NOT A SOUL
AND IF YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP
AND IF YOU TELL ME TO SHUT IT
DID YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP
OH IF YOU TELL ME TO SHUT IT
I SHUT IT NOW
I AM A BREAKER OF OCEAN
LEADEN LIKE A BULLET TO THE SUN
I AM A BREAKER OF OCEAN
LEADEN LIKE A BULLET TO THE SUN, TO THE SUN, TO THE SUN…
At the age of 53, I can tell you that I have had many jobs. And over the years I have read many job search books and spoken with job coaches. Every single job coach I’ve heard and every job search book I’ve read has said to “Do what you love.” They appeal to the narcissism that exists in all of us – something most of us deny about ourselves. I think the biggest harm is that this approach raises unrealistic expectations – i.e. if you do what you love you can expect to love what you do. And I’ve done that – I’ve taken jobs doing work that I loved. So why have I ALWAYS been disappointed? Why do I always end up hating what I loved? Those are serious question and they are not addressed in any single job search book. Job coaches just dismiss the questions saying that I just haven’t found what I love yet. But, what if the point is to just work and it doesn’t matter what you do? What if you can find some sort of peace, satisfaction and consolation in what you do even if it’s not what you love? What if it’s not the job you do but HOW you do your job? The longest job I held was for 15 years. It resulted in a near nervous breakdown and personality shift. That was a job that I started because I loved that type of work. What job coaches and books fail to recognize that the work you do is not important because it’s the people you work with that make the job enjoyable and you can actually come to love those people instead of the work itself. It’s the people that make the job lovable or hateful and miserable. And unless you learn how to deal with the different personalities of the people you work with, accept them in spite of their values and practices you will never be happy no matter what you do.
At the time I left my previous job that I held for 15 years, I started to read the writings of Thich Nhat Hanh. It was in these Buddhist writings that I started to explore the ideas of mindfulness and adding that to my Christian faith. It not only helped me understand myself but from this also evolved the notion that it doesn’t matter what work I do. In spite of the tasks I can find enjoyment, happiness and even love based on how I was mindful of others and sensitive to their needs. Whatever emotion you attach to it – the job becomes meaningful because of relationships not the task itself.
At the time I came to this realization I was unemployed, between jobs. Disillusioned, tired, depressed and unsure of what I did want, I decided to look for work that I COULD do instead of work I wanted to do. It opened up a whole new realm of employment possibilities. The first thing I did is go over previous performance appraisals and made a list of two columns of things that previous employers thought I did well and things they thought I sucked at (although they would label it “needs improvement”). There were contradictions which is understandable because of two things. 1) We are contradictory beings in nature. 2) When you ask 10 people about something you’ll get 10 different opinions. Being fully aware of the contradictions and differences I started looking for work that would be acceptable based on the abilities perceived by others. I’d see a job description and ask can I do this job well based on my abilities and skill set. If I could answer “yes” to that question I would apply – even if I didn’t have the education degrees that the employer said they wanted to see. While an educational degree is helpful it does not ensure success in either obtaining a job or successfully doing the job. Once I had the interview I answered the questions by talking about my experience and skill set based on what the employer was looking for. Now, I’ve always hated interviews. But I found that since I already knew what I could do that it didn’t matter if I got the job or even loved the job. What mattered was I knew I could do the job and it was up to the employer to decide if they were going to take a chance on me or not. I took the same mindfulness approach in the interview which relieved the stress of the interviews.
What happened was something I was not expecting. I took a job doing something that had never appealed to me and would never have previously chosen because I would not have seen it as something I could love. I have found the job rewarding, challenging and just what I needed. I’ve worked this same job now for 5+ years and do not have any regrets about taking this job. Sure there are times when I wonder, “What the hell was I thinking” but that happens in every situation in life. Sure there are things that make me angry about work but I’m able to move beyond that not let it affect my work. It’s the people that matter more than the job itself. When I keep that in mind everything works out.
Now this may seem simplistic and like a bunch of malarky. But its worked for me.
(fyi – the art in this post is #77 from my Messages From The Future series which will be published in book form in 2014.)
“Well, it’s important to have hope that something can be done at some level to protect what’s of value in the world, and I think something can be done, But such hope must be informed by a realistic understanding of human beings as they are.
There’s a type of hope now which I think is very harmful, which is essentially a form of blocking out reality because it’s too difficult to contemplate. Now, I think , that’s a much more hopeless view.” – John Gray
“Hope is only where despair is. Something truly new-beginning happens only when you are in such deep shit that, within the existing coordinates you can find no way out, and then, in order to survive you have to invent something new. The magic is to turn a desperate situation into something new.” – Slavoj Zizek
A great documentary by Alfonzo Cuaron.
The Possibility of Hope – Part 1
Today I’m writing about the institutional church’s emphasis on missions, evangelism and promotion/marketing the salvation of the soul. For too long I have heard that if we only believe in Jesus then we will be saved. But this is untrue a fallacy and deceit. Okay some readers may start quaking and shaking because I’m challenging one of the basic tenants of the what has been preached as “the faith”.
The problem arises when, in our challenged attention span, we fail to understand the scripture/teachings in the larger context and what it means for our lives. For example, Jesus said, (in the ever popular verse)
“For thus God loves the world, so that he gives his only-begotten son that everyone who is believing in him should not perish but have life eonian.” – John 3:16(Concordant Literal New Testament – CLNT)
Out of context this verse clearly suggests that belief alone will save. But wait! What is the larger context where this appears? To understand the context we must read the entire section where this verse appears – John 3:1-21 in addition to the larger context of Jesus overall teachings throughout the gospels. Jesus is having a conversation with one of the Pharisees named Nicodemus who was a chieftain. Briefly, Jesus talks about how the times have changed and are changing. Previous perceptions of heaven are re-evaluated. Throughout his ministry Jesus talks about Heaven being here and now. In this section of scripture he points out that the Pharisees were making distinctions between celestial and terrestrial existence/being. Jesus says in verse 13 that the only one who has gone to heaven (as the pharisees teach) is the one who has come from heaven. In short, Jesus brings heaven back down to earth. The “one” he speaks of is the only-begotten son of mankind. And the belief in what the only-begotten son of mankind has done (bringing heaven down to earth) is what saves mankind. He then goes on to say that our actions here on earth reflect what we believe. So it’s not the belief that saves us. IT IS our actions here and now that reflect what we believe that matters.
So it’s not so esoteric as a “soul” that is so often preached in churches. It has nothing to do with heaven as a separate place to escape from this existence or find as a reward for believing. Belief alone will not save; it is how our actions are determined by our belief. As is written in James 2:19-20
“…the demons are ALSO believing and shuddering. Now are you wanting to know, o empty man, that faith apart from works is dead?” (CLNT)
Many translations turn that question into a statement. But it is in fact a question and the writer goes on to say that actions are not separate from belief. Actions illustrate and are inseparably linked to belief. No wonder so many so-called Christians, church workers and religious people are accused of hypocrisy and bigotry; saying one thing while doing another. It’s our actions here and now in this existence that show what we truly believe. Our actions at work with our co-workers, customers, suppliers, investors shows what we truly believe. Our actions at home with family and neighbors shows what we truly believe. Our actions in our “play” or social activities show what we truly believe. Going to church or saying we are Christian doesn’t mean squat! Anyone can, and does, do that. Jesus said in Matthew 7:21 that not everyone who says “Lord, Lord” will enter heaven. He continues by saying that the people who experience heaven are those who do Gods will. In other words, not most who go to church or say their Christian will never experience heaven as Jesus taught. Only those whose actions are in line with what Christ taught will experience heaven on earth as he taught.
(fyi- this is a re-post from my previous blog in August, 2012.)
Scene from THE CROW “Victims, aren’t we all….”
I’ve been thinking about the things that put me “around the bend” regarding the institutions of the church. First of all I don’t believe the Church was ever meant to be an institution. It was just a label given to groups of people who got together from time to time.
The scene above from the excellent film, THE CROW, is a modern parable. A parable on the consequences of viewing ourselves, our churches, our religion, our culture as victims. When we view ourselves as victims we will only know violence, hatred and revenge. I’ve often told people, I am not and never will be a victim. That does not mean that others won’t try to make me a victim or victimize me in some way. But I choose to never see myself as a victim. That’s doesn’t mean my life is any easier. In fact, because of my choices, my life is at times more difficult than what it may need to be (I’ve been told more than once to just “play the game”).
This does not seem to be the case for the Church/institutional Christianity. It seems that the “church” everywhere is embracing victimization. For further proof one only needs to look at the elaborate security systems churches have in an effort to protect their investment. And that may be part of the problem. The investment for the church has become something other than the people who make up the church. Fund raising is used to prop up the institution. The Church has entered the realm of monument building. And it will do everything it can to defend and prop up it’s monuments. In short Churches have become “Like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.” (Matthew 23:27) Everywhere we turn the so-called Church is on the attack. Defending it’s turf, complaining about its circumstances, and seeking anti-christian (legal/political) means of resolving it’s conflicts has become habitual behavior. In this age when the media is filled with stories of hate-crimes against different religions it is easy fall into the trap of victimization.
Why is victimization a trap? As soon as someone sees themselves as a victim they have already decided to react by complaining about their situation, lashing out, placing blame, even attacking the perceived cause/source of victimization. It’s done in the name of defending themselves. This is a very unhealthy and unproductive mindset. Sadly this is especially true in America since 9/11. Gun sales have risen sharply since that time. Sadly many of these buyers claim to be Christian. I know of people who try their best to use different bible passages to justify taking up arms (always out of context for self-justification). I know of one Christian who recently bought a gun in the name of defending his family. He sees himself as a minister of the gospel. But I ask what precedent does this set for your children? What example does that give to others? How does this even coincide with Jesus’ teaching – which you claim to follow? In fear, we already see ourselves as victims. When we are afraid we make unhealthy choices not only for ourselves but also for those around us who we may claim to be protecting. We become slaves to that fear of victimization. The result is we victimize ourselves. Sadly this has permeated the so-called church. We have applied this mindset to our beliefs – in spite of the actual teachings of the Source of the faith.
When we claim that we, our church and/or our religion are victims we are in bondage. We are trapped by our thinking. We have stopped promoting a gospel of love and freedom. We create and defend a gospel of bondage. We have created our own chains. Is it any wonder that Christianity has such a bad name today? Is it any wonder that church institutional membership is declining? Who wants to be in bondage? Not me! Jesus came to set people free from the very things that the church is doing.
Where I grew up and where I live there’s a lot of talk about being a “slave to Christ”, “in bondage to Christ”. Now the church has taken some archaic language in the bible and twisted it to support its gospel of bondage. As is surrendering one’s rights to the church has something to do with being Christian. It doesn’t. First of all slavery should never be promoted. If a person chooses to enslave themselves that is their choice. When the Bible is talking about being a “slave to Christ” it is not talking literally but metaphorically. It is about aligning oneself to the teachings of Christ and making every effort to live them in daily life and not give up trying even though one fails. That’s different from giving in to institution demand and mindset to defend the faith – as if faith was something to defend. This has given rise to an increase in Christian Apologetics. Genuine faith cannot be defended – it can only be lived.
Now, I want to be clear – I’ve NEVER heard a church or Christian say, “We are victims”. But a person doesn’t need to say it in words. As I’ve suggested all along – it’s in our attitudes/mindsets and our actions. Look at the Christians (whether Orthodox, Evangelical, Protestant, Catholic, etc) who seek to punish those they perceive are criminals (criminals being; those that object to, criticize, ridicule, distort and slander a person’s faith or religion in word and/or action) And this they apply to the arts, politics, science, education, lifestyles and other religions/belief systems. What has happened is that the Church has come to see itself as separate from humanity and not a part of it. This separation has had dire consequences. It is “Us vs. Them”. The church does not promote unity, healing, love among humanity but is a source of division. It not only puts one on the defensive but it becomes justification to attack and is used as a reason to go out and proselytize others in an effort to “bring them into the fold.” Instead of Christianity’s institutional leaders directing the path taught by Christ, this thinking is supported and encouraged. It is even applied to the institutions themselves – thus the evolution of the Gospel of Bondage.
This is inappropriate and was NEVER supported by Jesus. And that’s part of the problem. Jesus is being taught as the Messiah, that Savior of Humanity that did a lot of cool things and told some cool stories. But by-and-large the Church has stopped investigating his teachings. People use other scriptures out of context to justify their actions, thoughts and lives without testing them against what Christ taught. But if it doesn’t align with what Christ taught it is anti-christian.
So how should we then live? If we are Christians we need to re-investigate Jesus actual teachings and seek every effort to apply them to our lives. Teachings like forgiveness, love, compassion, mercy, caring for ALL people (not just those of our own faith or those who agree with us). When we can do this for people who are against us we no longer see them as separate from but actually a part of the big picture – a part of God’s creation – a part of the human family. We need to understand what he taught about the kingdom of heaven and what it means for us today.
We each have our function and purpose on this earth. We are part of one existence. Part of the God-consciousness itself. Each of us may be a different part of the body (i.e. someone may be a hand, foot, eye etc) but we can’t survive without each other. In fact we need each other. But If we reject others for their beliefs, actions, etc we are actually rejecting a part of the body that we are a part of. When this happens we are slowly killing ourselves by self decapitation. Have you ever seen a decapitation that was a good thing? Decapitation is ALWAYS violent and ugly.
A personal story:
I work in the Customer Service industry. No, not retail, not something that glamorous. I actually work the phones for a utility company. That means that I have the opportunity to be verbally attacked and even threatened – and it does happen from time to time. When I started this job (nearly 5 years ago) I literally had no idea what this would be like. Naturally at first I was on the defensive and it seemed that almost every call was a personal attack. And it’s hard not to feel that way when you are being verbally attacked or having your life or family threatened. Add to that we have a changing work-place environment based on the changing economy that adds challenges to the relationships I have with co-workers and supervisors. This all adds up to one stressful day. I tend to be more emotional anyway so dealing with these things are very difficult at times because it is my nature to react emotionally first and intellectually second. I am getting better at taking a moment (a breath, a pause, a heartbeat) to step back from the situation. But my growth and change has not been easy. I don’t think it’s supposed to be easy. But I view it as necessary. I keep a phrase by my computer that I look at quite often to remind me. It is simply, “Like water off a ducks back, let it roll over me.” The next step was to, as I’ve been talking about, viewing these people I deal with not just as “callers” or “co-worker’s” or “management” but as part of the human body – my body. It is a real game changer to think in this way. I can say that the outcome of my calls has been significantly different from when I started with this company. I still have a long way to go but I at least feel that I am on the right path. But again, it all comes down to the fact that at some point I decided NOT to be a victim or victimize others by being defensive.
We need to diminish our conflicts and differences not escalate them. It’s a choice. The choices we make now not only affect our actions but the actions of others both now and in the future. If we choose to perceive ourselves, our churches, our religion as victims we are making a very dangerous choice with dire consequences, both short-term and long-term. So don’t ever call me a victim. I am not and never will be a victim no matter what happens to me in this life. And it feels so good to say that. 🙂
Scene from DANGEROUS MINDS – “Choice”
Music today by Canadian musician Bruce Cockburn – GOSPEL OF BONDAGE
From the album ‘Big Circumstance’ (1989).
GOSPEL OF BONDAGE by BRUCE COCKBURN
Tabloids, bellowing raw delight
Hail the return of the Teutonic Knights
Inbred for purity and spoiling for a fight,
Another little puppet of the New Right
See-through dollars and mystery plagues
Varied detritus of Aquarian Age
Shutters on storefronts and shutters in the mind –
We kill ourselves to keep ourselves safe from crime.
That’s the gospel of bondage…
We’re so afraid of disorder we make it into a god
We can only placate with state security laws
Whose church consists of secret courts and wiretaps and shocks
Whose priests hold smoking guns, and whose sign is the double cross
But God must be on the side of the side that’s right
And not the right that justifies itself in terms of might –
Least of all a bunch of neo-nazis running hooded through the night
Which may be why He’s so conspicuously out of sight
Of the gospel of bondage…
You read the Bible in your special ways
You’re fond of quoting certain things it says –
Mouth full of righteousness and wrath from above
But when do we hear about forgiveness and love?
Sometimes you can hear the Spirit whispering to you,
But if God stays silent, what else can you do
Except listen to the silence? if you ever did you’d surely see
That God won’t be reduced to an ideology
Such as the gospel of bondage…
A very funny video by OSHO. A word that I hear every day. It’s interesting how the more uses a word may have – the more confusing it becomes and the less important it becomes.
(fyi – this is a re-post from my previous blog in 2012)
UN SAFE
What does it mean to be unsafe?
I think it means to be open, unlocked, unconditional and taking risks. Certainly easier said than done. In our culture these things are typically lauded but not encouraged. A strange paradox. I think that in terms of faith, especially the Christianity I live, the paradox is even more profound because the institutions encourage conformity yet the Savior it proclaims was the ultimate individualist, open, and risky person around.
In our culture we have let fear define safety. We close up our borders, we increase security by increasing surveillance and decreasing privacy, we cast the dark light of suspicion on anything we do not understand or are not familiar with. We use religion as a weapon. And I am ashamed to say that many; who claim to believe in Jesus Christ are just as guilty as those who don’t.
Let’s look again at just a couple of examples of what Jesus taught; “Love your enemies” (Matthew 5:43-48) “Do not resist an evil person” (Matthew 5:38-42) “Do not act for the purpose of being seen or recognized by others” (Matthew 6:1-4) “When you pray, go into your room, close the door…” (Matthew 6:5-15)
I could go on. I just want to encourage everyone to live a life of faith that is unsafe. Don’t be afraid to be open, to take a stand against “accepted” public opinion. Take the risk of fighting others by trying to understand them and accept them that they may see, in you a different way to live. Love “keeps no record of wrongs.”(I Corinthians 13:5) “The only thing that counts is faith, expressing itself through love.” (Galatians 5:6) “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and work… so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.” (I Thessalonians 4:11-12)
Well that’s all I have to say right now.
I declare myself “unsafe”; An urban explorer of the human soul.
Enjoy this video by Mike Stand and THE ALARM – UNSAFE BUILDING
So after reading Exodus 34 I’ve been rethinking this whole notion of God as punisher of those who do evil – which is a common Christian outlook. Exodus 34:3-7 recounts Moses acquisition of the second set of the “ten commandments”, and lists some of Gods attributes. I want to focus on just one of these – punishment/retribution. Like many things in the Bible there are two sides to this and neither is what it seems on the surface.
Verses 6 & 7 read,
The Lord passed before him and proclaimed: “The Lord! the Lord! a God compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, extending kindness to the thousandth generation, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin; yet He does not remit all punishment, but visits the iniquity of parents upon children and children’s children, upon the third and fourth generations.” [JPS translation]
First the good news. The good attributes such as “slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, extending kindness…” covers a thousand generations. It goes on and on. So-called punishment is only for up to 4 generations.
First I want to question the word “punishment” – which is a common translation. And I’ve always questioned this notion of God punishing children for their parents misdeeds. But if we read it literally that is what it seems to talk about. Let’s think about this. Punishment is something unpleasant imposed by authority on someone or some group for wrong action. In other words punishment is a consequence of wrong action. So let’s get away from the notion of punishment as a whip, hanging, or imprisonment. Lets think about consequence.
Now let’s think about what this consequence is in these verses. We learn that God does not bring the consequences himself. The consequences of wrong actions by parents and society are passed on to their children and even their children’s children [i.e. future generations]…. Now I know you’re probably tempted to say, “but wait” and revisit my previous comment about God punishing children for parents mistakes – BUT STOP!
We are talking about consequences. Cause and effect. Let’s think of the bigger picture here. I’ve always loved the Native American quote from the Iroquois Nation. To paraphrase their Great Law,
“In every deliberation, we must consider the impact on the seventh generation… even if it requires having skin as thick as the bark of a pine.”
We have become a very temporal minded society, living for the moment and not thinking ahead to the consequences of our actions for our children and future generations. Another consequence of our temporal society is that we’ve become more reactive than proactive. Me must find a way to think about this. Parents must consider how they teach & discipline, their children. Parents must consider how children learn from their beliefs and behaviors (emotional and physical action). As a society we must consider how our actions in environmental issues, urban planning, government etc will impact future generations. Because our wrong or right actions now WILL HAVE CONSEQUENCES on our children and children’s children for at least the next 3 or 4 generations (according to the Bible). God doesn’t punish our children for our mistakes – we do. If you don’t want your children to suffer from your wrong actions – carefully consider your actions to begin with; in every situation.
Does this mean we don’t or won’t make mistakes? No, we will still make mistakes but if we are mindful and aware, considering our actions we will be able to correct the mistake much sooner. There will still be strong debate over what constitutes right actions in a larger public arena.
I have worked in the service industry all of my adult life – that totals 35 working years. Here in the United States there is a phrase that has been tossed around the service industry so much that it has become and is perceived as a behavioral truism to be honored, revered, respected and upheld at ALL costs.
That phrase is:
The customer is ALWAYS right!
This type of “truism” has served no one – not even the customer. It has made businesses make concessions where none should be made just to avoid bad press. It has made some customers abusively use the perceived truism as a weapon to get what they want. Worst of all I believe it to be wrong, incorrect and without benefit for individuals and society.
It would be better to say, “The customer is sometimes right and sometimes wrong.” But people will reject that because no one wants to take responsibility for being right or wrong – or, take responsibility for determining who is right or wrong. According to the business satisfaction model currently in use – it’s better to just pay the customer off and give them what they demand.
What’s the cost?
IS there a cost?
How does this behavior affect the economy?
Does this behavior encourage more greediness and entitlement?
Or, does it simply uphold the golden rule by being willing to “take a hit”?
Does this behavior ultimately hurt?
Who does it really hurt?
How is the person who feels entitled and determined to get what they feel they deserve hurting themselves?
... on being and becoming ... 